Cannibal Ferox (a.k.a. Make Them Die Slowly)
Sub-Genre- Cannibal
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The VG, Cherie, and Nick.
Cast Members of Note- Giovanni Lombardo Radice, John Bartha, and a bunch of crazy native cannibals!
What's it about?- Everybody hates mike; when the shady jerk hightails it from New York to Paraguay to escape the mob and cops, he discovers that a tribe of indigent cannibals pretty much wants to kill him too. How can you not like Mike? He has a cocaine necklace, he calls women sweet names like "Tw*t" and "Sweet pu**ied little whore", he calls his best friend a pathetic loser on a regular basis, he kills indiscriminately... ok, I guess I can see why people want him dead...
Needless to say that Mike kills the wrong cannibals in the wrong deep jungle, and drags everyone he meets into a world of pain and random sex. Seriously, he called a chick a whore and a Tw*at, and she agrees with him then they have sex. How does he pull it off? It's probably the cocaine necklace.
I won't say anything more, because... well, it's a dam cannibal movie, the plot isn't all that intricate... but suffice it to say that you don't want to watch this movie while eating dinner. Or after even.
The Good- Cannibal Ferox is a classic 80's Italian gore movie, heavy on the bad dubbing, ridiculous plot, poor acting, and flowing blood (and in this case, entrails too.)
If nothing else, this movie is a fun time, especially if you and your friends are sitting around drinking while watching it.
The Bad- What in the hell is a ferox? A really scary fox? No, that would be Fear Fox... When I type in ferox on Google, I've gotten results for hedge funds, aloe plants, and it's also the Latin word for strong or courageous. "Cannibal Courageous?" I still don't understand.
The Downright Horrendous- Did the producers of this film have an animal violence fetish? Every other scene seemed to be an animal getting killed, slowly... either by each other or by humans. This movie must be on PETA's hit list.
The Gory- That's all this movie is. Multiple acts of animal violence and cannibalism, this one has a bunch of old school gore if that's your thing.
The Naked- Plenty of boobs and butts, though some of the nakedness isn't very pleasant.
Best Line- "You hot pu**ied little whore!" or "Hey, bitch, where's your stud?" LOL
What did we learn?- Stay the hell out of the jungle. Also, women don't seem to mind being called Tw*t. Who knew.
Rating- C- (5/10) This is a poorly made, poorly dubbed, poorly acted movie with over the top graphic violence... but it will make you laugh. It's definitely a genre classic in its own right, but just not a very good one; perfect for large groups of drunk horror fans to sit around and have a fun time with.
The Vanilla Gorilla Says- He liked this one, mainly because the cheesy Italian acting/English dubbing had him rolling. He also likes violence.
