Top Ten Black Blogs (Jan 2009)

We enter enter the Obama era this month. The continued popularity of political and social commentary blogs in the Villager's Black Blog Rankings (BBR) reflects the greater engagement of our blog readers in the issues of the day. I hope that you enjoy the 1,575 blogs ranked in the January 2009 BBR.

I looked back on where things stood 12 months ago when we published the January 2008 BBR. Three of the current Top Ten Black Blogs (Jack and Jill Politics, The Field Negro and Necole Bitchie) were not in the Top Ten a year ago.

We started this ranking effort with 75 Black blogs in Sep 2007. This month we publish over 1,500 Black owned & operated blogs! I don't pretend that we have all Black owned & operated blogs on this list. If you see any that are missing ... please let me know in the COMMENTS section.

Here are the blog lists from the past four quarters:
Anyhow, with no further ado, here are the Top Ten Black Blogs for Jan 2009:
  1. Pam Spaulding: Pam's House Blend (Authority: 1,187 / Rank: 1,384) - [Politics] Pam's blog continues to maintain a commanding lead as the top Black blog in the universe. One of the secrets to her success is the frequency of posts on her blog. Pam has a number of guest commentators and there seems to be a new blog post every couple of hours. In any case, Pam's House Blend is the go-to location for anything related to the lesbian and gay community. Pam has been dealing behind-the-scenes with the hacking of her blog platform This blog was BBR #2 a year ago.
  2. The Bossip: Bossip.com (Authority: 769 / Rank: 2,893) - [Entertainment] Bossip.com is the top-ranked gossip or entertainment blog on our list. We continue to wonder whether The Bossip is male or female? This blog survived a dust-up that began last year at this time with some derogatory remarks against Maya Angelou. Click here to see index of the people that are blogged about on Bossip.com. This blog was BBR #3 a year ago.
  3. Ahsmi Rawlins: Nah Right (Authority: 716 / Rank: 3,202) - [Entertainment] Ashmi (a.k.a., ESKAY) has been blogging since May 2005. Both his name and job are based on phonetics, literally and figuratively. The name – eskay – is the phonetic spelling of “SK,” the tag he used as a graffiti writer years ago. Today, rappers go nowhere unless Eskay says so. His chronically updated NahRight.com is the site for hip-hop news and videos. Check out this interview he conducted with Urb Magazine to learn more about Eskay. This blog was BBR #6 a year ago.
  4. Angel Laws: Concrete Loop (Authority: 638 / Rank: 3,767) - [Entertainment] Angel Laws is the young sister who who owns and operates this dynamic entertainment blog. She created the blog back in 2005 and it was the top-ranked Black blog last year. Angel has other interests in life as demonstrated by her photo blog. I encourage you to see the list of the last 50 posts on her blog. This blog was BBR #1 a year ago.
  5. Oliver Willis: Oliver Willis (Authority: 574 / Rank: 4,343) - [Politics] Oliver has been blogging since April 2005. Oliver attended Florida Atlantic University and is a member of the Technology and Online Community Department at Media Matters for America. He is expanding his cyber-empire to YouTube as well. This blog was BBR #7 a year ago.
  6. Natasha Eubanks: Young, Black & Fabulous (Authority: 571 / Rank: 4,375) - [Entertainment] Natasha Eubanks started blogging four years ago out of her passion for celebrity gossip. Her blog, focused on Black celebrity gossip and entertainment news, has risen from from nothing to something to become a destination for many bloggers and fans. This blog was BBR #6 a year ago.
  7. Baratunde Thurston and Cheryl Contee: Jack and Jill Politics (Authority: 564 / Rank: 4,444) - [Politics] Baratunde is conscious comic and vigilante pundit who has successfully merged his interests in technology, politics and comedy. He has authored three books, including Keep Jerry Falwell Away From My Oreo Cookies. Cheryl works in communications and marketing of social meda and Web 2.0, and is starting her own consulting shop. Together they make up the dynamic online team of Jack and Jill. This blog was BBR #13 a year ago.
  8. La Shawn Barber: La Shawn Barber's Corner (Authority: 363 / Rank: 8,238) - [Social Commentary] This top-ranked blog was launched in November 2003. La Shawn comes at things from a unique point of view. She writes about politics, faith, culture, digital technology and, occasionally, how these things intersect. There are many fans of La Shawn Barber. I'm interested to see how her view evolve in the Obama era. This blog was BBR #9 a year ago.
  9. Wayne Bennett: The Field Negro (Authority: 355 / Rank: 8,471) - [Social Commentary] The Los Angeles Times interview provided insights into Wayne last year. Field shared his post-election thoughts, however, he managed to weasel his way out of running buck-naked down a Philadelphia street when Obama won. It's cool to see this popular Black blogger sharing his thoughts on King's legacy with Al Jazeera. This blog was BBR #18 a year ago.
  10. Necole Bitchie: NecoleBitchie.com (Authority: 348 / Rank: 8,869) - [Entertainment] Necole is one of the few Black bloggers making a career from her blog. She shared some great monetizing tips at the Blogging While Brown conference last year. NecoleBitchie.com is one of the fastest growing urban celebrity blogs on the Internet. She is also sharing information on YouTube. However, not everyone is a fan. This blog was BBR #124 a year ago.

HONORABLE MENTION (11-25): AfroBella, Ill Doctrine, Sandra Rose, Womanist Musings, Crunk & Disorderly, Raw Dawg Buffalo, The Black Snob, Angry Black Bitch, Living Life Abundantly, Rod 2.0:Beta, The Angry Black Woman, Michelle Obama Watch, Why Does Everyone Suck?, How To Split An Atom and Electronic Village.


This ranking is open to any blogger of African descent. We invite all Black bloggers to apply for membership into The AfroSpear or join our Facebook group known as the Afrosphere Bloggers Association.

Black Blog Rankings lean heavily on the Technorati Authority and Rank score for each blog. The Technorati authority and rank numbers are shown in parenthesis. The authority figure includes a number of factors including the number of blogs that are linked to this blogger over the past six months. The rank number indicates how many blogs are between the one listed and The Huffington Post, which is the #1 overall blog in the universe.

We do think that these Black blogs are important spheres of influence. Let them know that you appreciate the work they have put in over the past few months and years to get on this list. I encourage all bloggers to provide some link-love to this post so that your readers can learn about the Villager's Black Blog Rankings! Next step is yours ... what say u?

Top 50 Best Blogs of 2008 Award


We were surprised and honored to be included on Marenda's list of the Top 50 Best Blogs of 2008. Her blog, Living Life Abundantly, has risen on the Villager's Black Blog Rankings from BBR #96 to BBR #19 over the past year because of the excellent information she provides to her readers.

This is our second year in a row being on Marenda's list. We will do all that we can possibly do to earn her respect again in 2009.

We'd like to beat the drums for other AfroSpear bloggers that made her list this year: Eddie Griffin (BASG) (BBR #178), Field Negro (BBR #9), From My Brown Eyed View (BBR #241), Raw Dawg Buffalo (BBR #16), Science Education & Society (BBR #457), and Vanessa Unplugged (BBR #311).

Happy New Year!


Here are a few fun New Years Eve party games that will keep you entertained all night:

-You know that one girl you like? Well, now that your drunk, acting a fool, and shes looking at you with contempt in her eyes, run up to her, drop your pants, and gyrate your hips at her while screaming "Like it or not, you're getting this tonight!" Then get your bail money ready. Funny stuff though.

- Wear a leather fetish mask and stare at people from the corner all night, especially the women. If they go to leave, step in their way. They step to the side, you step to the side. Don't make a sound though, they cry faster if you're quiet.

-Try mixing 151 rum and Jim Beam... It's called Satan's Piss or something. Then, tell people it's pucker and rum... and watch as they realize that you lied to them! Good times.

-Tea-bagging someones drink is a fun drunk prank that practically everyone will enjoy! (Especially if there's hair or something solid in their drink afterward. Like skin.)

- Wait for people to walk to their cars, and step out of the bushes with your leather fetish mask on. Ask them, "Are you alone?" When they stammer for an answer, ask again, "Are you alone?!?" but this time pretend you're really anxious and angry.

Really, don't do any of these things (unless you're fun), just have a fun, safe, and happy New Years Eve!


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The THC Blog's First Year in Review

We started the blog in April really, but didn't make it public until July, and since then, it's been nothing short of fun and amazing for all of us.

The Horror Club serves a few purposes:
1- It's a document of a group of friend's horror watching exploits.
2- It's our chance to celebrate horror and share it with the world.
3- It provides us with a TON of fun.

The things that follow may not seem like much to some, but to a small group of horror loving friends, were pretty proud of them:

Visitors- 10,373 people have visited us as of this post.
Countries- Horror lovers from 102 different countries have graced us with their presence this year (Since about Nov. 1st really, that's when I put the country flag thingy on the blog.)
#of Posts- 205
#of Reviews- 96
#of Followers- 19 (Some of them have some pretty cool blogs too, so check 'em out.)

-We were sent our first official Screener.
-We got to meet Bruce Campbell.
-Our Myspace has not only allowed us to make some cool new friends, but actually saw us chat (if briefly) with the likes of Derek Mears and Scout Taylor Compton. We've also been lucky enough to get some feedback and exchange a few words here and there with a Director or two. those I'll keep secret, but you may be able to figure one or two of them our from the comments they left...

-Our youngest member, although she doesn't know it yet, just turned 2 months old.
-Our second youngest member, Nick (13), had the crap scared out of him by only one film... The Blair Witch Project. Good boy.
-The 31 Days of Horror was a ton of fun and a pretty big success, and we already have an idea what were going to do for next year...

And what exactly do we have planned for 2009? More of the same; reviews, previews, dissecting all things horror, fun and hilarity... only more of it! (That's good or bad depending on your outlook really...) Were going to try to steer you in the right direction when it comes to watching horror...

So from all of us, to all of you... THANK YOU!

The 10 Non-Horror Films of 2008 You Must See.

Ok, ok, this is a horror blog, not an any-ole-movie blog, but I had to take one quick post to share with you the best non horror movies I've seen in 2008. And FYI; if this top 10 were to include horror, Let the Right One In would be on the list.

This will be really quick... Check these flicks out, you won't be sorry!

The Best of 2008:
1- The Dark Knight- Perfection, both Ledger and the film.
2- The Wrestler- Mickey Rourke deserves the Oscar for this. Period. Brilliant all the way around.
3- In Bruges- This film made me love Colin Farrell, and I usually cant stand him.
4- Milk- Excellent film, Penn is amazing, as are James Franco and Emile Hirsch.
5- JCVD- Great movie, and laugh if you want to, but an Oscar worthy performance by Jean Claude Van Damme. Seriously.
6- Taken- The best action movie you wont see this year, Liam Neeson puts Bourne and Bond to shame.
7- Iron Man- The second best Comic book movie ever made. Perfect.
8- Pride and Glory- I'm a sucker for good cop movies, and this one was great. Ed Norton and... Colin Farrell again? Damn... He's on a roll!
9- Felon- Like Taken, a small film that many may not have seen, but should. Val Kilmer is awesome playing a convict here... just see it. Very moving.
10- Gran Torino- I love Clint, and this movie was mad in my hometown... also, it's really good.

Honorable Mentions:
Snow Angels
Frost/Nixon
Definitely, Maybe
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Quantum of Solace
Vicky Christina Barcelona
Seven Pounds
Slumdog Millionaire
Body of Lies

Wordless Wednesday: Happy New Year



Learn the secret to Rhino Success!


All Men Are Created Equal

Less than a month until Barack Obama formally takes oath of office as our 44th President of the United States. Am I the only one who remains floating on the high from the November 4th election results?!?

Blagojevich Appoints Roland Burris to Replace Barack Obama in US Senate


Only three African Americans ... Ed Brooke, Carol Moseley-Braun and Barack Obama ... have served as a United States senator since the end of Reconstruction era. It appears that Gov. Blagojevich wants to add a fourth nubian to the list.

Blagojevich will name former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris to replace President-elect Barack Obama in the Senate later today.

Born in Centralia, Illinois, Roland Burris received his bachelor's degree in political science from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale in 1959. He then studied at the University of Hamburg, Germany, for a year before entering law school at Howard University.

Burris began his career in 1963 as a national bank examiner for the U.S. Treasury Department. This gave him the honor of being the first African American to examine banks in the United States. From 1964 to 1973, he served as vice president of Continental Illinois National Bank, making significant contacts in both the corporate and African American communities. Burris began his government career in 1973 as director of the Illinois Department of General Services. In 1978, with his election to the first of three terms as state comptroller, he made history as the first African American elected to state office.

On November 6, 1990, Roland W. Burris was elected attorney general for the state of Illinois. At that time, the only African American ranking higher in state office was Douglas Wilder, the governor of Virginia. He served as Illinois attorney general from 1991 to 1995.

Burris is now an attorney with the Peters law firm in Chicago, where he specializes in environmental, consumer affairs and estate law. Previously he was managing partner of the Chicago-based law firm of Jones, Ware & Grenard, one of the largest minority law firms in the country. Burris previously ran and lost bids for the U.S. senate and governor.

If Burris makes it to Washington DC, he would be the only African American in the U.S. Senate.

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. I've never heard of Roland Burris before today. What are your thoughts about this appointment?

Mychal Bell, Jena 6 Student, Shoots Himself


Mychal Bell was arrested for shoplifting on Christmas Eve. He was realeased on $1,300 bail. Today we learn that the troubled youngster shot himself in the shoulder.

Mychal Bell was cleaning a gun when it accidentally discharged, shooting him in the shoulder, his attorney, Carol Powell-Lexing, told CNN. He had surgery Monday night at a hospital in Monroe, Louisiana, and has not yet been able to talk, she said. CNN.com

I encourage visitors to read the post on What About Our Daughters for some very insightful comments and analysis of this latest incident by a Jena 6 student.

The Obama Song

Drumbeats from the Electronic Drum clued us in to this groove from Michael Franti and Spearhead. Without question the most remarkable memory of 2008 will be the election of Barack Obama as our 44th President of the United States. This song captures the spirit of his election better than anything else I've heard this year.

Enjoy!




I wonder what will become our most remarkable memory of the new year?

Mychal Bell, Jena 6 Student, Arrested for Shoplifting


Prison reform wouldn't be necessary if our young men would simply do right in the first place. Drumbeats from Dallas South Blog informed us that Mychel Bell ... one of the Jena 6 youth ... was arrested for shoplifting $370 worth of merchandise from Dillard’s in Pecanland Mall in Monroe LA.

Bell's arrest comes less than less than a month after he completed a sentence for his role in a fight with classmate, Justin Barker, at Jena High School in 2006.

The national uprising about the racially-biased prosecution by Louisiana criminal justice system during the Jena 6 trials last year were on point. Unfortunately, a number of the Jena 6 youth appear to have misread the point of the protest.

We were not giving them carte-blanche to act a fool. We were giving them a second chance to make their families and community proud.

It appears that Mychal Bell turned down his second chance.

Solo Review - Jack Brooks Monster Slayer (2008)


Jack Brooks Monster Slayer
Sub-Genre- Monster!

In Attendance
- Me!

Cast Members of Note- Freddy Kreuger himself, Robert Englund! Also, the hot as lava
Rachel Skarsten.

What's it about?
- Jack Brooks has anger issues. From the start, we see this displayed and explained to us through flash backs, via confrontation, and even in his "edgy" therapy sessions. He learns that seeing his family killed by a monster when he was a kid is the cause of it all, and that's obviously why he's become a plumber too.

He goes to therapy, shows up late to class, talks to the teacher, deals with his snotty girlfriend, talks to the teacher, goes to the teachers house and fixes his plumbing, goes to the hardware store, wakes some old guy up, discovers some mystery about an old plumbing part, goes back to class... which takes up the first 60 minutes of the movie.


Once Robert Englund becomes a Pizza-the-Hut-monster-thing though, the monster ass kicking begins! I really have no more to say on the subject.

The Good- I give mad props to this movie for using no CGI whatsoever to create any of the creatures of gore FX. ZERO CGI. It's very refreshing to see FX look good the old fashioned way for a change. The professor monster was awesome... in a throwback campy way, mind you, but awesome none the less.

The Bad
- Was this movie supposed to be funny? I think I may have missed the parts that were funny. Slither did this way better. No funny.

Not funny? Not funny?!? I will now quizzically frown at you!

The Downright Horrendous- Many people defend this films slow pace due to it being an "Origin" movie, which set's up the real action to come in the sequel... I say that's crap, because if I don't care about the origin, why in the world would I want to see a part 2? A movie's goal, origin story or not, is to grab a hold of me and not let me go for the entire running time, something that Jack Brooks didn't manage to do.

The Gory- Eew... all kinds of gross and oozing stuff is everywhere in this movie, being shoved in people mouths via tentacle, and turning people into monsters! Awesome!

The Naked- Nope.

Best Line- ...

What did we learn?- Horror comedies aren't always funny.

Rating
- C- This one didn't do it at all for me, and avoids getting a D rating only because of the awesome old school FX used on the film. The first hour was pretty bland for the most part, and not very funny at all, though I think they tried. Some will love it, some will hate it; I'd just wait to catch this one on cable if you can.

Final Thoughts- This may be the hottest picture ever taken...


Sen. Jim Webb (D-VA) Wants Prison Reform


There are a number of domestic issues that need to be dealt with in the coming years. A few weeks ago I suggested that America's prison system needed to be overhauled. Today's (December 29) Washington Post has an article that Senator James Webb is going to take on prison reform.

My understanding is that Webb (D-Va.) plans to introduce legislation on reforming the U.S. prison system. Jails teem with young Black men who later struggle to rejoin society, he says. Drug addicts and the mentally ill take up cells that would be better used for violent criminals. And politicians have failed to address this costly problem for fear of being labeled 'soft on crime.'

You can find a great blog article on this matter here on Firedoglake.
Would you support efforts to reform our nation's prison system?

2009 BDPA Technology Conference (Raleigh, NC)

More details can be found here.

Will Congressional Black Caucus Be Relevant Next Year?


A number of villagers have been talking about the relevance and potency of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) in 2009 and beyond. I think that everyone recognizes that they have not been relevant for many years. Whether it was because of the Republican dominance of congress and the White House or simply a dearth of energy and ideas ... it seems unlikely that much would be different over the past generation if the CBC never existed.

For those that don't know, the original purpose of the CBC was '...to promote the public welfare through legislation designed to meet the needs of millions of neglected citizens'.

The CBC agenda in 2008 focused on:
  1. Empower and Mobilize America's Youth
  2. Build an International Internet Communications Portal
  3. CBC Outreach Program
  4. Impact the Alternative Energy Discussion
Now we enter into a new year ... Democratic dominance of the Senate and the House of Representatives ... Black man serving as our president ... and new leadership for the CBC. Will the CBC be relevant in the 111th Congress?

CBC Members elected to leadership posts include:
Chairwoman-elect Barbara Lee remarked, “The 111th Congress will not only present unique and difficult challenges, but also historic opportunities for our caucus. I look forward to working with all of our CBC members to craft and implement a unified and bold agenda for the 111th Congress.”

I suppose what villagers want to know at this point ... what is that bold agenda for 2009-2010? Will the CBC avoid getting into a battle with Obama? Do you have any thoughts on the CBC agenda?

Barack Obama Named 'Father of the Year'


Did you see where Barack Obama was named 'Father of the Year' by the Fatherhood Educational Institute (FEI)? FEI educates the public on the importance of patriarchal involvement in children's lives.

The group is based in Chicago. They have some strong programs to help fathers that are poor or incarcerated.

Barack Obama said, "I think we got to do a real good job trying to reintroduce males who have been involved in the criminal justice system as ex-offenders -- giving them the opportunity so that they are able to support their families, find work, get on the right path -- but ultimately there's a lot of personal responsibility that's involved in this. And one of the things I want to do as president is to use the bully pulpit to say to men, You have to get involved in your child's life. It will make a difference not only in their lives but in yours."

Fatherhood issues need to be addressed by all races and cultures. However, there is no question that Obama serves as a powerful role model for African American fathers. At the end of the day it is up to each of us to take personal responsibility to do the right thing. It will be nice to see a positive and powerful Blackman who does right by his children.

Solo Review- Splinter (2008)


Splinter (2008)
Sub-Genre- Creature/Parasite

In Attendance
- Me

Cast Members of Note
- The hotness of Jill Wagner, the girl from the Mercury commercials.

What's it about?- A hottie (Jill Wagner) and her geek boyfriend get carjacked after hitting a mutant porcupine, and all hell breaks loose. Soon enough, they are forced to hole up in a gas station for their survival... Thankfully for everyone involved, the geek boyfriend has a PHD in biology or botany or something, and is able to determine that the porcupine thing is "Strange" and not quite "Normal."

Not normal at all.

The idea here is not to get pricked by the splintery little bastard, or else you become a host of sorts, thus turning you into a shambling, undead man-porcupine thing- even a tiny little splinter of the finger means you're finished- and since the creature is basically all splinters, it's best not to try to pet it. Hugs are out too.

Sure it looked cute, but look what it did to you!

I wont ruin the ending here, but suffice it to say that it doesn't end well for most involved. ( I really wanted to work in some sort of "That little prick!" joke here, due to the nature of the porcupine monster and its little splinters and all, but it just didn't work out.)

The Good- The creature in this movie, and the things it does to a human body are a thing of brilliance; The cracking and breaking, the lumbering around with a broken body, in search of its next meal/host... You can only catch quick shots of the creature, but when you do, it more than get's its point across.

Splinter is a pretty good effort that manages to deliver some creepy atmosphere and tense moments, complimented by some pretty intense gore effects... not to mention the hotness of Jill Wagner, who can actually act.

Call me, Jill. That's not a request... do it now!

The Bad- It took a little long to get things going, and I would have liked to have seen them use film stock rather than digital, to make the movie look less "Cheap." It's minor nitpicking on my part really... very minor.

The Downright Horrendous
- A box cutter and a cinder block?!? Good god that's painful to even comprehend, let alone witness...

The Gory- I'm still wincing thinking about some of the gore in this movie... For instance, the amputation of an arm with a box cutter... and a cinder block. Damn. This movie delivers the gory goods.


The Naked- No, and what a waste of Jill Wagner too. Sigh.

Best Line- Anything Jill Wagner said... she really is that captivating.

What did we learn?- Don't ever stop when you hit something on a country road. Also, you always kill it with fire.

Rating
- B This was a well made, creepy, and often times disturbing little flick, and it deserves to be seen. Whether you rent or buy it, just get your hands on it and watch it.

Final Thoughts- Adorable!

This Week in Blackness: Hillary Clinton & Sarah Palin

Elon James White shares Part 2-of-4 in his satirical review of 2008. In this installment he spends some time talking about two white women that dominated the political landscape in 2008 ... Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin.





Bro. White brings it strong. I think that my favorite part is when he de-mystifies the myth about Bill Clinton being the first Black president. What was your favorite part in this video?

The Best Movies of 2008

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This year managed to give us some true gems amongst the flood of crap, and some of them were quite extraordinary. As with the worst of list, once you get past the top 2 films (which are the top 2 horror flicks of the year), the order can totally be argued over. As always, I'll do my best!

The list goes like this: The best/the movies that came close/and the movies that were more good than bad. The movies not listed here were stuck somewhere between good and bad.

*Every movie on this list was reviewed here on the blog save for Martyrs; so if you want more detailed info on any of them, go check the links on the side panel out.

**Inside (A L'interieur), and [REC] were movies I saw in 2007, hence their not being on the best of 2008 list. They're both definitely top 10 movies though.

1- Let the Right One In- Hauntingly beautiful, dark, creepy, sentimental, and oddly sweet, this is by far the best horror movie I've seen this year. LTROI is a movie that Hollywood doesn't have the balls to make, which is why I guess they're remaking it already. I want to say so much about this movie, but I'm afraid that I'd ruin too much... Let's just say that you really owe it to yourself to check this one out, as I think that you have to see it... no, experience it, to truly get just how great it is. The book is pretty damn good too.

2- Martyrs- The French have done it again, and if it weren't for those pesky Swedes, they would have had the best horror flick of the year. Martyrs is extreme, and an entirely uncomfortable film to sit through, but there is also a flip side; it's an almost transcendent experience of sorts... again, you have to see it to get what I mean. I stand by my ranking of #2, but this could easily be the best horror movie of the year. FYI, the DVD hits the U.S. on April 28th...

3- My Name is Bruce- I may be placing this unfairly high on the list seeing as I got to meet Bruce Campbell when I saw this, but still, it's a great film that makes fun of it's star and itself, and is just a ton of fun. It's definitely a horror/comedy, and if you love Bruce, and think he is one of the genre's all time best, then you will love this movie. I just found it really refreshing.

4- Frontiere(s)- I absolutely love this mean spirited little French flick; Inbred Nazi's on a mission to impregnate an innocent girl and start a new master race... absolutely love it. This is a brutal film, visually and atmospherically... I think the table saw scene may be my favorite scene of the year (maybe.) It does borrow liberally from American horror such as TCM, and The Hills Have Eyes in some places, but to great effect. (This movie had its U.S. premiere in 2008.)

5- Midnight Meat Train- Stick it in your poopers Lionsgate, because guess what? Midnight Meat Train was awesome, and though you tried to bury it, it will have a long life on DVD as a cult classic. Vinnie Jones was awesome as Mahogany, giving us one of the coolest killers we've seen on screen in a long time. Clive Barker just never seems to go wrong, does he? Check this out on Fearnet if you haven't yet, or grab it on DVD early in 2009. In your poopers I say!

6- All the Boys Love Mandy Lane- I too love Mandy Lane, both the movie and the woman... Amber Heard is smoking hot, and the movie is a cool little piece of teen slasher goodness. It's not a typical teen horror flick, that's for sure, and maybe that's why Hollywood has balked on releasing it since 2006, but it's effective and a nice change of pace from the usual Iknowwhatyoudidlasttimeyouscremed type of dreck. I'm hoping that we get this on DVD sometime in 2009.

7- Mother of Tears- I just got done watching this for the second time the other day, and I liked it even more than the first time I saw it. MOT marks a great return to form for master of horror Dario Argento; it's bloody, gory, disturbing, fun, pretty creepy, and a fitting end to his Three Mothers Trilogy. We need more good horror flicks about witches! If you are a fan of Argento, I don't see how you wont like this. If you aren't, then I still say you'll like this one. It's just damn good.

8- The Ruins- This is totally the movie I expect every one to poo-poo, but it was pretty damn good! Hooray for Hollywood for actually making a cool horror flick, and one that was based off of a book too boot... and it did it justice. This was nastier than I thought it would have been too; bloody and graphic and painful to watch in a few parts. I thought the premise was pretty cool, and I actually liked the ending. This is how killer plants should behave, M. Night Shayamalan!

9- The Strangers- Other than one thing that drove me nuts towards the middle of the movie, this one was aces in my book. And for the record, it's not a remake of Them (Ils). This is one of those flicks that just makes you feel uneasy throughout, and really doesnt let up until the end. I really liked the subtle touch at the end, and I'm hoping they will make a sequel sometime soon. I prefer the Unrated cut on DVD; it's only 2 minutes longer, but a key sequence was reinserted towards the end which I loved. Go buy this.

10- Teeth- How in the world can a movie about a killer vagina not make a Best Of list? Is there any more terrifying a concept for a man then the dreaded killer clam? This was a pretty cool movie, that almost played as a teen angst film, only with some really messed up violence and gore... all I'll say is that the Rottweiler scene still gives me chills. It's nice to see a little indie pic turn out so well.

The Honorable Mentions:
11- Splinter-
One I saw late, but that rocked my world!
12-Mirrors- A good movie, I was hoping for more from Aja, but I still enjoyed it.
13-Surveillance- I couldn't help but love it. Bill Pullman was awesome in this, and I love movies about serial/spree killers.
14-Vikaren (The Substitute)- A fun little Dutch flick, it's basically kids vs. evil alien teacher... quite a nice surprise, really.
15-Eden Lake- I was driven nuts by some of the stupid things that the main characters did in Eden Lake, but I thought it worked as a film overall.

Rovdyr-
A nasty little piece of horror goodness.
The Cottage- This is a fun movie. A bit slow in parts, but I walked away feeling pretty entertained after seeing it, which is a rare thing indeed.
Sick Nurses- I love the blood and gore of Sick Nurses, and of course the hot Asian chicks.
Outpost- A small story about Nazi ghosts, I thought that it was pretty interesting and creepy. Plus, the new Punisher is the main star, and I always like his work.
Dance of the Dead- This movie is like Slither, Night of the Creeps, Feast, and Tremors... it's just a fun little horror flick.

Almost Awesome:
Donkey Punch- I liked this one, but something was missing for me, keeping it from being great.
Quarantine- I suspect that I would have liked this more had I not seen [Rec] first. I do love Jennifer Carpenter though.
Waz- Some nice moments here and there, but overall it was just shy of being a really good movie. Wicked torture scene towards the end.
Scar 3d- A bloody and nasty little flick, it's definitely worth a watch, just don't expect too much.
Otis- UGH. I LOVED the first half of this movie, and then it took a nosedive into crap land that killed its chance of being one of the years best.

The worst of 2008...

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This year gave us some pretty bad horror movies, of that there is no doubt. It's hard to put these in order of suck, because an argument can be made for the placement of all of them, whether higher or lower on the list.

The list goes like this: The 10 worst/the movies that were almost the worst/and the movies that were more bad than good. Any movies not listed here were stuck somewhere between good and bad.

1-The Happening- This movie sucks for so many reasons, that I can't begin to list them all; when a movie is billed as an event like most of Shaymalananan's are, they need to be better conceived, written, acted and directed. This one was laugh out loud bad, cringe worthy even. I am absolutely a horror/movie snob, but I also love some pretty crappy movies (Cool as Ice anyone?), so I think I'm more than fair/objective in most cases. When people tell me I'm being too harsh on The Happening, all I can say is "Go watch it." They can't argue much after that.

2- Seed- Uwe Boll films are like AIDS, genocide, and the Emo trend; they all need to be stopped. Now. This movie is horrendous (as if Michael Pare in the lead role wasn't clue enough for you), and save for one interesting kill scene, it should be burned and peed on. I actually have a cousin who liked Seed, but then again he's slow in the brain; he licks the cat sometimes. I swear I'll box Uwe Boll right now if he promises to never make a horror movie again. I'll win too.

3- Shutter- This movie should be called Shitter, and at least the title would be right. As remakes go, this one was just painfully bad; Pacey from Dawson's Creek? The guy has the emotional range of a potato... Seriously, sit and watch a potato for 90 minutes, it's the same thing. That's not to mention the lame jump scares, slow pacing, and lack of atmosphere of the film itself. Again, lame PG-13 fare that suckers teens into the theater, and then laughs in their faces. Could Hollywood at least make crap movies that suck on their own, and leave foreign films that can't accurately be remade alone?

4- One Missed Call- At this point, it's safe to say that anything starring Edward Burns is going to suck; he and Pacey (mentioned above) should have a suck off... not a gay porn type thing, but a contest to see who can suck the most via acting skill. Lock them in a room, let them improv, and stand back and watch the pain until one of them simply stares off into space, never to talk again. The survivor wins, but we all still lose. But, maybe possessed cellphones are your thing, or quick flash scary images, horrible acting, poor scripting, senseless endings... even Shannyn Sossamon sucked in this. The Asian horror remakes need to stop.

5- Prom Night- Ok fine, the original Prom Night isn't one of the greatest classic 80's slashers, but it's hell and gone better than this predictable snooze fest. Another one for the kiddies, this movie is devoid of anything resembling a scare. I did like the hot chicks though, but even they weren't enough to save me from the ridiculous and 100% predictable plot. I know horror of the 80's was fairly predictable too sometimes, but wasn't there more of a payoff back then? Didn't they actually scare us, or gross us out or something?

6- Wicked Lake- This one deserves to be higher on the list quite frankly, and the only reason that it's not is because cheap b-grade movies aren't supposed to be good. This was just AWFUL. It's like a retarded kid with a walker; sure you want to yell "Move faster crazy legs!" but you don't because he's retarded. You can laugh though, just don't let him hear. This movie isn't even "so bad it's good" bad, it's just painful.

7- The Eye- Another remake, another bland, lifeless film with hardly anything going for it (not counting Jessica Alba, she's cool.) This should have been much better, as I loved the original, but it did the worst thing possible; it made me not care. Why Hollywood just doesn't release the originals in theaters, I'll never know. Ok, I do know... American people tend not to like subtitles, and that prevents a movie from making millions at the box office... Then again, this one only made 31 million anyways.

8- April Fool's Day- I made it half way through this direct to DVD mess, said screw it and walked away... but in the interest of fairness I came back and watched the rest; I barely made it to the end. I know it was direct to DVD, so maybe it should be lower on the list, but bad is bad.

9- Saw V- This isn't a horrible movie per se, but it's time for the Saw series to stop... I mean can you honestly say that the franchise didn't jump the shark after Saw III? First of all, Jigsaw is dead, the entire backbone of the franchise gone, and we're left with Costas Mandylor as the new evil mastermind? LOL. Sorry, I had to laugh. Second, the plot is so ridiculous, winding, and "surprising", that it's become a parody of itself. The traps are still cool, bloody as ever, but the magic is just gone. No Jigsaw, no Amanda, no answers to exactly where Dr. Gordon is... they're just making them for the sake of making them now, and it's embarrassing.

10- The Haunting of Molly Hartley- This looked good when I first saw the trailer months ago, but alas, it's just another PG-13 tween crapfest. The ever clever jump scare (used here to excess), wooden and stereotypical characters, a meandering plot that takes forever to get anywhere, the obligatory twist ending (which sucked)... This is a perfect example of Hollywood churning out fluff when they should be pushing the material in the other direction.

Dishonorable Mention-
Pulse 2- Wow, I actually thought the first one was kinda fun, but this one was just bad. Also, part 3 is done and on the way... yeah.
Return to Sleepaway Camp- If the original was a crappy b-grade flick that many of us hold dear because we grew up in the 80's and loved the ending, then this is a crappy D-grade mess. All I have to say is the reveal of the killer and his/her "disguise" is horrendous.
The Lodge- I ended up fast forwarding through most of this.
Zombie Strippers- What was Robert Englund thinking? Porn whores in a horrible horror flick, that's all this was.
Scourge- I tried to like this, but damn it was so poorly made... I think the film makers really tried, but they didn't quite cut it.
Day of the Dead- Ving Rhames and Mena Suvari, both of whom are decent actors, must have had a heron habit to feed, else why would they have appeared in this straight to DVD suck job? And Nick Cannon as an action hero? LOL. I had to laugh again.
The Signal- No. Just no. Many praised this one, but it fell FLAT after the first "Act."

Almost Bad:
100 Feet- Bland, boring, and not scary at all. A waste of Famke Janssen.
Diary of the Dead- The first Romero film I've seen that truly disappointed me.
Feast 2- NOWHERE near the greatness of the first one, and that's saying a lot.
House- The more I see of Michael Madsen, the more I realize he really can't act.
Lost Boys 2- Not horrendous, but bad enough to be not good. That didn't make any sense at all, did it?

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