The Unborn
Sub-Genre- Haunting/Possession
In Attendance- Me.
Cast Members of Note- Odette Yustman, Gary Oldman, Cam Gigandet, and my secret wife, Carla Gugino.
What's it about?- When a really hot Megan Fox clone finds out that she murdered her own twin while they were both still in mommy's tummy, odd things begin to happen to her; Her eyes change color, giant demon ants randomly attack her, babies die, creepy kids stand around and stare at her, people twist their necks all weird and scream at her... seems as if someone is about to get some murdered fetus justice!
Realizing that a demon has it in for her, she heads off to find her old Jewish nana, who tells her that everything is happening because of the Nazi's... their experiments into the occult lead them to unleash hellish evil upon the world, the likes of which it had never seen before; that, and liverwurst. Ugh. At this point, realizing the old yenta is insane, Megan Fox's clone goosesteps her to death.
Can a crazy Jewish rabbi purge her of her demons? Will the Megan Fox clone please get naked for us? Will Hollywood please realize that pale little children with blank looks on their faces just aren't scary anymore? Maybe, no, and no.
The Good- I think I may the only person reviewing this movie online that doesn't immediately scream "God, that was awful!", but I kinda liked it. Lemme break you down as to why; As always, Gary Oldman's performance doesn't allow you to take your eyes off of him, even for a second; Odette Yustman is really hot, though a bit skinny for my tastes; The movie itself has an interesting premise and delivers some decent scares now and then (although the "Creepy otherworldly kid" thing has run it's course, thanks to that little suck job of an actor, Cameron Bright); Anything that Carla Gugino is in makes me happy...
Sure, they should have pushed the envelope more, eased up on the jump scares, and came up with a FAR better ending than they did, but some of it worked, sometimes. I've seen a lot worse.
The Bad- I hate when good footage from the trailer doesn't end up in the movie... Unrated Cut DVD I'm guessing? I hate double dipping studios too!
The Downright Horrendous- Why do all of the horror movies that I've seen lately have dead kids, dying kids, kids getting killed, or kids being tortured in them? Can't we just get back to killing ignorant teenagers again?
The Gory- It had a PG-13 amount of blood in it, but some of the death scenes were fairly cool; I like the reverse back snap myself.
The Naked- We did get to see Odette Yustman showering from the back, and running around in her undies the whole movie. No true nudity, but it was still nice.
Best Line- "He want's to be born now." or "I told you not to help her."
What did we learn?- Jews perform exorcisms... who knew? Also, Gary Oldman always shines, even when the movie he's in pretty much sucks.
Rating- C- This is one of those flicks that I know isn't very good, but that I kinda enjoyed anyways. I might have to see it again to cement my opinion, and an Unrated version on DVD would certainly help the cause, but as for now I'll just say you can do much worse than seeing The Unborn... Catch a matinee and see it on the cheap, that way you save some $ if you end up feeling cheated.
Final Thoughts- Carla Gugino is in this, even if only for a few seconds.
