Hit and Run
Sub-Genre- Torture Porn
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- Laura Breckenridge, and awesome character actor Kevin Corrigan.
What's it about?- A dumb drunk chick leaves a wiiild partaaaaay because she just has to get home for some oddly unknown reason; on the way, we're treated to her giving an in car concert of some crap song as she drives, which is probably why she almost hits a suitcase laying in the middle of the road, and has to swerve a mile into the woods to avoid it. Whew! That was close!
She drives the rest of the 20 miles home without realizing that she's impaled a guy on the front of her Jeep, and when she does finally figure it out, she beats him to death with a golf club. Then she buries him in the woods, because she doesn't want to be grounded. Then, some creepy things begin to happen, she acts increasingly more inept, and we begin to wish that she would have buried herself alive too.
I won't spoil what comes next, as you can probably figure it out if you made it through 5th grade, but I will say that cops have jobs for a reason, and you should maybe call them for help if you get involved in something creepy.
The Good- There are some genuine creepy and tense moments in this movie, which nearly save the inept script and poor direction, but not quite. If you like nail biters you'll love this one, as Laura Breckenridge plays scared pretty well.
Also, some of the gore FX were pretty cool, and even a bit clever.
The Bad- This movie isn't a case of a character making one bad decision after another, which leads to horrible consequences, this is more like a character making ridiculously unrealistic decisions, one after another, that only a person required by law to wear a helmet would make. As the movie wears on, it gets harder to ignore or accept the lack of common sense of the heroine; drive drunk, and sing/dance in the car while you do... wildly swerve to miss hitting a tire in the road and drive into a forest... discover a man impaled on your bumper and do nothing but say "I'm going to help you" over and over... Don't call the cops... beat him to death with a golf club... Don't call the cops... bury him in the woods, sit back as manhunt for missing teacher ensues... tell your boyfriend, who tells you not to call the cops...
It gets worse from there (the wife?!?), but I don't want to delve into spoiler territory. Let's just say that you can't really feel sympathy for the main character because she's just plain ignorant, nor can you feel anything for anyone else in the movie, not even "the victim."
The Downright Horrendous- What the hell was with some of the camera work in this movie? I think the director was confused as to whether this was a horror flick, or his version of Go, Requiem for a Dream, or Smoking Aces. Lame.
The Gory- A particularly painful leg stabbing scene, ear biting, more stabbing, traffic accident carnage... it basically turns into a torture porn gorefest in the third reel.
The Naked- No, but Laura Breckenridge does spend a lot of time on screen in her undies...
Best Line- "Sqwak! Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary!"
What did we learn?- You shouldn't drink and drive, especially if you're a woman. Also, dumb ass young people just need to stop trying to be clever and call the cops.
Rating- C- Another promising movie with an interesting premise and a good amount of tension, hurt by characters being ridiculously stupid for the sake of moving the story along. Check it out if you don't mind bland formula horror with some decent scares, skip it if you do.
Final Thoughts- You know, when the clock in this movie said 3:04, I glanced at mine and it said 3:12. Coincidence? I think not.
