7eventy 5ive
Sub-Genre- Slasher
In Attendance- Me.
Cast Members of Note- Rutger Hauer! God he was awesome in the 80's...
What's it about?- A bunch of kids make some prank calls, and piss someone off so bad that he comes over and kills all of their parents. Good job kids. The killer escapes into the night as the cops arrive, and all of the kids get shipped off to the orphanage as punishment. Rutger Hauer's brand of justice is a harsh one, where not even kids are exempt!
Years later, some of the kids are actually at college despite being orphans, and they haven't learned a damn thing; at a big party way out in the deserted country, they decide to make prank calls again, and guess what happens? Yep. The same maniac finds them once more, and pretty much kills them all.
I wont ruin the rest here, but suffice it to say that the stupid kids probably deserved what they got. I mean, you see your mom murdered in front of you because of a prank call you made, and you still feel the urge to tempt fate when you grow up? Kids these days...
The Good- What a really pleasant surprise; we've absolutely seen this before and done much better, but I'll be damned if this wasn't a fun little flick! It's your typical teen stalk and slash movie, filled with blood, sex, drugs, and a mysterious killer with a secret. There were some good laughs to be had, the characters weren't all morons (though some certainly were), and it did a decent job of maintaining some pretty good tension throughout.
The best part was seeing Rutger Hauer again though, he was so great in the 80's...
The Bad- It's proven once again, that the only people that ever make any logical sense in a horror movie are the black guys; listen up white people, when the black guy says "Fuck this, I'm outta here!" you go with him!
The Downright Horrendous- The ending was a bit confusing, and I'd like to think I'm fairly bright... A killer at the beginning, brothers, an insane asylum, another killer at the end... Oh, whatever, it was a fun ride!
The Gory- Plenty of Axe violence, maiming, slashing, bludgeoning, cutting, and stabbing to be had here.
The Naked- A brief shot of some boobs is all we get... so much potential gone to waste!
Best Line- "Man, you gonna get a nigga locked up!" or "Oh my god, we are gonna die."
What did we learn?- What we really learned is that for every Molly Hartley, Prom Night or Shutter that Hollywood releases, there's a Mandy Lane, Trick R' Treat, or a 7eventy 5ive that they don't, and they go largely undiscovered. For shame.
Rating- C This was a mostly average slasher flick with a few above average moments here or there, and that's not a bad thing at all; most slasher these days suck so bad that they can't even hit the average benchmark. It won't challenge your mind much, but it will give you an hour and a half of bloody fun if you give it a chance. Check it out if you get a chance.
Final Thoughts-
