Jack Brooks Monster Slayer
Sub-Genre- Monster!
In Attendance- Me!
Cast Members of Note- Freddy Kreuger himself, Robert Englund! Also, the hot as lava Rachel Skarsten.
What's it about?- Jack Brooks has anger issues. From the start, we see this displayed and explained to us through flash backs, via confrontation, and even in his "edgy" therapy sessions. He learns that seeing his family killed by a monster when he was a kid is the cause of it all, and that's obviously why he's become a plumber too.
He goes to therapy, shows up late to class, talks to the teacher, deals with his snotty girlfriend, talks to the teacher, goes to the teachers house and fixes his plumbing, goes to the hardware store, wakes some old guy up, discovers some mystery about an old plumbing part, goes back to class... which takes up the first 60 minutes of the movie.
Once Robert Englund becomes a Pizza-the-Hut-monster-thing though, the monster ass kicking begins! I really have no more to say on the subject.
The Good- I give mad props to this movie for using no CGI whatsoever to create any of the creatures of gore FX. ZERO CGI. It's very refreshing to see FX look good the old fashioned way for a change. The professor monster was awesome... in a throwback campy way, mind you, but awesome none the less.
The Bad- Was this movie supposed to be funny? I think I may have missed the parts that were funny. Slither did this way better. No funny.
The Downright Horrendous- Many people defend this films slow pace due to it being an "Origin" movie, which set's up the real action to come in the sequel... I say that's crap, because if I don't care about the origin, why in the world would I want to see a part 2? A movie's goal, origin story or not, is to grab a hold of me and not let me go for the entire running time, something that Jack Brooks didn't manage to do.
The Gory- Eew... all kinds of gross and oozing stuff is everywhere in this movie, being shoved in people mouths via tentacle, and turning people into monsters! Awesome!
The Naked- Nope.
Best Line- ...
What did we learn?- Horror comedies aren't always funny.
Rating- C- This one didn't do it at all for me, and avoids getting a D rating only because of the awesome old school FX used on the film. The first hour was pretty bland for the most part, and not very funny at all, though I think they tried. Some will love it, some will hate it; I'd just wait to catch this one on cable if you can.
Final Thoughts- This may be the hottest picture ever taken...
