WRONG TURN 3
Sub-Genre- Survival/Torture Porn
In Attendance- Me and Machine.
Cast Members of Note- Tom Frederic, Janet Montgomery, Tamer Hassan, and the awesome boobs of Louise Cliffe.
What's it About?- When a couple of guys take some sluts rafting, they expect to become one with nature, brave the elements, and survive in the inbred back country of West Virginia. So naturally, they come ashore to camp, get naked, smoke some weed, have sex, and die painfully. Our favorite inbred mongoloid mountain men are back!
Then there's something about a bunch of prisoners and a bus, and how some of them are crimey's and how others want to shank or rape each other. Some of them like the "prison chili," "back cooter," while all of them seem to love getting three hots and a cot. I would never survive in prison... I'm a bleeder.
Anywho, the prisoners are all secretly taken through the back roads of WV to be transferred to another prison, and all hell breaks loose. It's Criminal vs. Guard, Guard vs. Mutant Hillbilly, and the Audience vs. Bad CGI... any way you slice it, people die messy and the stereotypes about inbred rednecks are once again strengthened.
The Good- If you've seen the other Wrong Turn movies, you know exactly what you're getting here; hot chicks, disposable characters, thin plot and a ton of messy, creative kills. What more can you ask for from a modern day equivalent of a slasher flick?
That's it. No new molds were cast, nothing new was brought to the horror genre, it was an average flick that should satisfy most who see it.
The Bad- Some of the CGI work in this movie was shoddy at best, though for a cheap direct to DVD B-movie, I guess it's par for the course. Still, some of the kill scenes would have been far better served using latex and dummies, karo syrup and squibs... CGI is just cheating in my opinion. Crappy CGI is even worse.
The Downright Horrendous- Why do the inbred mountain men never keep the hot naked chicks and use them as sex slaves. Even mongoloids have to get horny, don't they? Oh wait, he's trying to rape her... never mind. Also, that poor chick (Janet Montgomery) gets raped in every movie I see her in.
The Gory- This is a movie designed for awesome kills, and it totally delivers; arrows through boobs, arrows through eyes, eye eating, poles jammed through heads, bodies rent asunder... this one is REALLY nasty. Some of the CGI gore is lacking though, so be forewarned.
The Naked- Within the first 5 minutes we have a pair of rather glorious boobs, but nothing more after that.
Best Line- "I told you, never trust a con." or "...do you think I'm a slut?"
What did we learn?- You will die if you go traipsing around West Virginia. Also, CGI blood sucks.
Rating- C (6.0/10) An absolutely average direct to DVD horror flick, made fun by the variety of creative and messy kills on display, Wrong Turn is exactly what you expect it to be and nothing more. You already know if you want to see this or not. I can't see me ever watching it again, but watching it once wasn't so bad.
Final Thoughts- Which is scarier: prison or cannibalistic mountain men? I'll take my chances with the cannibals, thank you!
