SEVENTH MOON
Sub-Genre- Supernatural/Creature
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- Amy Smart, Tim Chiou, and Dennis Chan.
What's it About?- A hot white chick and her Cantonese husband are in China to meet his parents and go sight seeing. Unfortunately for them, they just so happen to be sight seeing during the day of the dead celebration, which is the time of year when evil shit walks the earth killing all of the good and innocent shit.
Their tour guide, Ping, drives them into the countryside, gets them lost, and abandons them. He runs into a creepy village that looks deserted aside from all sorts of wounded animals that are chained up everywhere, but they insist on yelling "Ping!" at the top of their lungs despite that fact. They end up yelling "Ping!" about 120 times in the span of 5 minutes, but to no avail. You see, they fell for the okey-doke, and are now lambs for the slaughter. That's what you get for trusting a guy named Ping. Seriously.
Once they figure out that they're about to be sacrificed to some pale white creepy things, they drive off as fast as they can, hoping to get away in time... and as all dumb asses do in these movies, the chick gets out of the car to help some guy laying in the road, and all hell breaks loose. I won't spoil what happens next here, because I really couldn't tell what happened. That's all.
The Good- Pretty interesting, pretty creepy, but plagued with characters that do really dumb things and some horribly bad choices in lighting/camera work... that basically sums up Seventh Moon. I'm proud that I made it through the whole thing. (Ghost House Underground is still one of my favorite DVD release companies though. No knock on them.)
Aside from the poor visuals, the premise was pretty interesting, and Amy Smart was great as the naive wife who turns tough by films end. The creatures themselves were also pretty cool, all pale and milky white, empty eyed and hungry for flesh.
The Bad- If the shaky cam of The Blair Witch Project gave you fits and made you nautious, this movie will absolutely give you a seizure. Possibly a grand mal. Oh, and many shots in the film are obscured and out of focus, which I get stylistically, but it's way over done and seriously detracts from the mood of the whole thing.
The Downright Horrendous- This may be the darkest movie I've ever seen. Did Eduardo Sanchez just decide to shoot everything in the dark and flip a light on every now and then? What is Amy Smart screaming at? Don't know, can't see it.
The Gory- I honestly don't know because I couldn't see shit. (Ok fine, some blood is visible, but I really mean it when I say that it was too dark to see most of it.)
The Naked- No.
What did we learn?- Shaky cam= shit.
Rating- Barely a C- (5.0/10) This movie is a truly frustrating experience, and I really can't recommend that anyone sit through it. It has it's merits of course, but you can't see most of them through the blurry, shaky cam and near complete darkness. Had the style of the film been more "normal" I think I would have liked it a lot. Maybe it's just me.
Final Thoughts- Amy Smart is the best thing about this film.
