SHADOW PUPPETS
Sub-Genre- Creature
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- Jolene Blalock, James Marsters, Tony Todd and Natasha Alam.
What's it About?- Two people wake up in padded cells with no memory, in their underwear, and to top it all off the smoke monster from Lost is on the loose. It's not long before they realize that they're being held against their will in an underground lab of some sorts, with 6 other scantily clad people.
When they decide to ...angry black guy attack! Holy shit, Candyman just came out of friggin' nowhere and kicked everyone's ass! Anyway, when they decide to explore the creepy lab in an effort to find a way out, they discover that they're screwed. Even Candyman is no match for the scary shadows and smoke monster.
One by one they're picked off for some unknown reason, and someone among them is behind it all for an even more unknown reason. Why are they there? Who is the traitor among them? Would a long, partner-swapping group sex scene save their lives? Who cares about the first two questions, I vote "yes" on the third one.
The Good- A few scares, a fairly creepy setting, and a bunch of hot chicks does not a good horror movie make. Shadow Puppets is basically an edgier Sy-Fy Channel movie, that will help you pass some time, but wont leave you with much after you're done watching it.
I did like some of the visuals, which manages to give off a pretty creepy vibe at times. The whole "I'm going down that staircase into the darkness, wait here" thing is in full effect, and it works for the most part. The "scantily clad chicks" thing works very well here too.
The Bad- This movie totally ripped off an idea for a game that I have; it's called "Escape from my bedroom if you can." It involves drinking, low self esteem, and twisted curiosity. I love this game, because I always win.
The Downright Horrendous- I don't know what's worse in this movie; the horrendous overacting or the dialogue. It's really so bad at some points, that I wasn't sure whether to cringe, laugh, or just fall asleep. Sy-Fy material for sure.
The Gory- Some shadow-impaling and other shadow-violence here and there, but there needed to be lots more of it.
The Naked- This movie is filled with cheesecake galore; boy shorts, tight tank tops (poky nipples included), and even a naked hottie swimming. Then toweling off. Slowly.
Best Line- "Yesterday, we were born. Today, we live." LOL!!!
What did we learn?- Hot women are often nymphomaniacs. Also, shadows are real scary.
Rating- D+ (4.5/10) Not atrocious, but certainly not good, Shadow Puppets at least gives us some hot chicks to look at. Some of it was ok, but for the most part the movie was nothing but poor acting and bad scripting. I can see some people digging this one, but I'm just not one of them.
Final Thoughts- Look below for more hottie pics from this movie.
