The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Sub-Genre- Slasher/Survival/Prequel
In Attendance- Me, Machine, Chris, Christian and Teryn.
Cast Members of Note- Jordana "Not naked nearly enough" Brewster, Diora "Good god, they're huge!" Baird, R. Lee Ermey, and Andrew Bynarski.
What's it about?- Little Tommy Hewitt was born in a slaughterhouse, and chucked in the trash because he was creepy looking. A woman finds him and takes him home, thus sealing every wayward teen travelers fate in the state of Texas forever. Years later, he get's fired from the same slaughterhouse, and he isn't happy about it. To make matters worse, his boss calls him names and tell him to piss off, which prompts Tommy to come back and kill the owner with a hammer.
When a group of wayward teens happens along, they get into a game of chicken with a biker chick, and all end up in a crash. Luckily for them, the sheriff comes along and decides that he wants to have his nephew, Tommy, kill them all and turn them into supper. He brings them home, where the two guys get into a crazy pull up contest, even though it isn't really the time for such things.
One of the chicks who avoided being captured to begin with, attempts to free her friends before they can be butchered, but doesn't do such a good job; she tries though, she really, really tries. Mind numbing violence and gore ensues.
I won't spoil the ending here, but suffice it to say that what comes next isn't pretty for any of the teens. Oh, and we don't ever find out who won the pull-up contest either. My money was on the gay looking one.
The Good- An actual sequel/prequel to the 2003 remake, TCM: The Beginning delivers, and even better than it's predecessor did. I have to give it to Platinum Dunes, they created the right atmosphere, poured on the gore, held off on the cheesiness, and kicked us square in the nuts with this one.
The star of the show here is R. Lee Ermey; that guy is just fantastic in whatever he does, and he absolutely rocks as the demented Hewitt family "Sheriff."
It's also interesting to note that I really want to do it with Diora Baird. Really bad.
The Bad- The ending. I know it had to be that way (since it's the beginning and all), but I really expected our final girl to drive off into the sunset.
The Downright Horrendous- The scraping of arm bones, the ripping off of faces... I don't know where to start. This movie is not for the squeamish!
The Gory-Listen, if this movie isn't bloody enough, nasty enough, gory enough, or brutal enough for you, you have serious issues.
The Naked- Diora Baird comes damn close to baring her assets, but all we get are undies.
Best Line- "This is redemption lady, that's what this is!" or "People may not remember what we say here tonight, but by God they'll remember what we did."
What did we learn?- Don't ever call the hulking slow-witted guy with a chainsaw in his hand a "retard."
Rating- A I know this grade may spark some contorversy with TCM purists, but this was a good movie. In fact, this might be the 2nd best in the series, along side of the 2003 remake. It's everything a Leatherface fan could want and more. TCM: The Beginning definitely deserves a watch, and IMO should be a part of any horror library.
Final Thoughts- Jordanna Brewster is in this, and she kisses chicks!
