The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
Sub-Genre- Slasher/Survival/Revenge
In Attendance- Me, Machine, Chris and Geo. Amanda and Danielle laughed at us from the other room.
Cast Members of Note- Dennis Hopper, Bill Moseley, and the retro hotness of Caroline Williams.
What's it about?- Our favorite cannibal family is back! Leatherface and his inbred clan, who always seem to get new members at random, are still swinging the saw and making human chili out of people, although this time, we don't feel bad for most of them; especially the jerk-offs at the beginning who decide to play chicken with the hillbillies in the creepy truck. Stupid!
Stretch doesn't deserve to be messed with though, as she's cute as a button and doesn't want to do anything but play rock n' roll music. Too bad Leatherface falls in love with her seductive voice and decides to come a courtin'... along with his brother, who likes to scrape skin off of the metal plate in his head with a coat hanger, and listen to Iron Butterfly.
Once Lefty shows up, acting all crazy and packing a trunk full o' chainsaws, all hell breaks loose. Will Stretch and Leatherface ever find true happiness together? Will someone finally lick Choptop's plate? Did that chili make anyone else gag?
I won't spoil the ending here, but...
The Good- This movie was good in places, but it had more of a campy vibe to it that the original TCM did... Why they abandoned the dread and vibe of the original, which was mostly created by the insanely terrifying family, is beyond me. Still, as a cult classic type of thing, this is mostly fun.
Bill Mosely was great as Choptop, who had some truly funny/classic lines. Dennis Hopper was over the top cheesy in this, but it seemed to fit well. Caroline Williams had legs for days and a cute southern accent... I was totally in love with her back in the day.
The Bad- This is exactly why I don't eat chili, especially someone else's; the secret is apparently in the meat. Oh, and watch out for those "Hard shelled peppercorns" a.k.a. teeth/bone. Ugh.
The Downright Horrendous- Why did Tobe Hooper wait a decade and then some to make a sequel to his 1974 genre classic, only to make it more comedy than horror? Where was the creep factor? Why wasn't the family scary anymore? Leatherface wasn't even creepy in this one, instead seeming to be a retarded moron with a chainsaw. You lost your focus, Tobe.
The Gory- TCM2 was way bloodier than the first one, and it literally had blood and guts coming out of the walls... and plate scratching. Peeled faces, peeled face wearing, chainsaw violence to head and gut... bloody stuff for sure.
The Naked- Nope, but Stretch did get rubbed on the fun button by a chainsaw.
Best Line- "Lick my plate, you dog dick!" or "Bubba's got a girlfriend!"
What did we learn?- Dennis Hopper finally gives us proof that he's insane. Also, the saw is family. Also, don't ever eat Texas Chili.
Rating- C- This movie gets a C- only because Bill Moseley rocks, Stretch is hot, and it had some good moments here or there; if not for those things, it would be a D at best. Overall, TCM2 takes one of the most terrifying movies ever, dumbs it down, and pushes humor over the scary stuff... Watch it if you love the series, because it's a campy classic for sure, but don't start here first if you haven't seen the original.
Final Thoughts- TCM2 basically ripped off The Breakfast Club! Here's proof!
