Underworld
Sub-Genre- Vampires
In Attendance- Me, Machine, Geo and Chris; with brief appearances by Christian, J.P. and Frank.
Cast Members of Note- The uber-hotness of Kate Beckinsale... Bill Nighy, and Scott Speedman. (Neither of whom are hot.)
What's it about?- Underworld is basically a story about a hot, slutty looking vampire who runs around in tight leather outfits, narrating her own movements, and doing drastically Matrix like jumps and flips.
Also, there is this story about werewolves (who are really called lycans) and how they like to kill vampires, but oddly enough, the bloodsuckers don't really like it all that much. Undead karate fighting ensues.
Who will win the war? Will the producers of the Matrix sue the Underworld team for stealing their moves? Will Kate Beckinsale get naked, thusly pleasing me and every man on the planet? I won't tell you! (The naked stuff is a no go though.)
The Good- Underworld was fun, visually pleasing, intense and stars Kate Beckinsale... what more could vampire fans ask for? The whole Romeo and Juliet theme works here as applied to Vamps and Werewolves, managing not to dwell on the sappy stuff for too long.
I almost want to say that Underworld is more action than it is horror, but the subject matter wont let me do that. It's not scary or creepy as many horror flicks are, but it is a bloody tale of the undead and the carnage they leave in their wake, so it counts.
The Bad- Where was the excessive vampire chick nudity?!?
The Downright Horrendous- Seriously, where was the nudity? And for that matter, where was the hot vampire lesbian kiss scene? Yes, I have issues.
The Gory- Underworld contains all kinds of Vampire on Werewolf violence, and should satisfy your blood lust. I especially like the UV bullets.
The Naked- No, and what a waste! Kate Beckinsale is one of the hottest chicks ever, and plus all vampire chicks are hot. Where was the lesbian scene?!?! ugh.
Best Line- "We put the bullets back in."
What did we learn?- Werewolves are actually called Lycans. Also, Romeo and Juliet can be retold under any setting.
Rating- A- This is a pretty kick ass vampire story, and should please action fans as well as vamp fanatics. Own this one.
Final Thoughts- She is one of the hottest chicks ever...
