Eden Lake (2008)
Sub-Genre- Survival
In Attendance- Do you not get what "Solo" means yet?
Cast Members of Note- Michael Fassbender (of 300 fame), and the lovely Kelly Reilly.
What's it about?- A dumb British couple decides it would be romantic to drive into the deep woods where nobody lives except a bunch of homicidal Chavs, and go camping for the weekend. So determined are they to have a fun weekend, that not even a bunch of rude, foul mouthed, tire slashing kids can stop them from having a good time!
The kids decide to play a game with the fun loving couple called "Were going to kill you," chasing them throughout the vast expanse of the woods, torturing them in many different and horrible ways... it's like a game of ghost in the graveyard really. Good times. Good times.
I wont ruin the end here, but let me just say that it's no wonder that Chavs are such shitty people, because they have shitty parents.
The Good- This movie is a pretty tense and disturbing ride; A group of violent kids torture and terrorize a vacationing couple in some pretty twisted ways, none of which are the least bit comfortable to watch.
The social fears played on in this movie are what truly make Eden Lake disturbing; a bunch of kids acting this way isn't something that is too unimaginable, and it makes us all feel as if we could be next at some point.
The Bad- Just once in a horror movie can someone do the sensible thing and get the hell out of dodge before things get worse? And seriously, would you really drive out into the country, pop a tent on a beach filled with white trash punks, and just think nothing would happen, especially after calling them dicks?
There were some things that the main characters did that were just plain dumb, that aggravated their situation, but I guess some people are that dumb in real life. Would you camp a second night where some kids had flattened your tire earlier? Wouldn't you think thing could only get worse from there?
The main characters really make some dumb decisions in this movie, and in the end, it makes me sympathize with them far less.
The Downright Horrendous- Chavs; Great Britain's answer to white kids that think they're 50 Cent. Cock the hat sideways, drop the pants, and start writing rhymes... then run 'round actin' awl tuff an what not, terrorizing any ponce what doesn't show you da propa respect mate! Like my British accent?
The Gory- People tied up with barbed wire, random cutting and slashing, a box cutter rooted around in a mouth, glass shards to the neck... this movie was full o' blood.
The Naked- This movie was a waste of Kelly Reilly's magnificent rack.
Best Line- "I'm not going to be bullied off by a bunch of 12 year-old's." Indeed.
What did we learn?- Asshole kids are a worldwide epidemic. Also, people in small English villages are not all that friendly either.
Rating- C Maybe I'm too harsh on horror movies; people acting stupid are pretty necessary, but I'm tired of watching flicks where I think "Who would honestly do that?" This one was good in some ways, but could have been much better with a healthy dose of realism thrown in.
Final Thoughts-
