We've seen them, we don't want to waste time reviewing them, we advise you to skip them.
Zombies: The Beginning- I was really hoping that this one would be filled with cheap and cheesy goodness, but it was more like cheap and cheesy suck. This is "Bad Movie Club" material, plain and simple.
-This movie may contain the worst dubbing ever, and I've seen a ton of kung-fu flicks.
-A Killer Brain?
-Mutoid zombie egghead kids?
-We get it already, she's having nightmares. Thanks for reminding us every 5 minutes.
-This was legendary exploitation director Bruno Mattei's last movie before he died. I didn't like the flick, but I did like Bruno. R.I.P.
Autumn- Wow is this movie a mess; horribly shot, beyond bad special effects, ridiculous storyline, poor acting save for Dexter Fletcher... at least the poster is cool?-What's with all of the slow motion?
-For that matter, what's with all of the fast forward motion?
-The budget for this movie must have been 6 Quid. As an American, I have no idea what 6 Quid even is, but I'm pretty sure that's what the budget was.
-This movie is slower than a senior citizen orgy.
-What a waste of Dexter Fletcher.
-The zombies look pretty cool, but they don't do anything until they get hungry more than an hour into the movie.
The Cell 2- Take a poor man's Eva Longoria (yes, I know shes' bad enough as it is), give her some really bad dialogue, ask her to overact and yet under perform (figure that one out), totally waste Frank Whaley's time, and you have The Cell 2. The premise is kinda cool, it's just that the execution sucks so bad that who cares about the premise.
-The killer's name is "The Cusp?" What?
-I was praying that at least David Hasselhoff would pop up somewhere in this movie, but even he's better than this.
-Wow, Tessie Santiago really can't act. At all. AT ALL.
-Let me get this straight... a blind guy who just took a hunting knife through the palm of his hand can land a spinning helicopter perfectly in the middle of a ball field?
-The level of unbelievability in this film is silly; and oddly enough, it has nothing to do with the psychic aspect of the plot.
