ELSEWHERE
Sub-Genre- Teen Terror/Serial Killer
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- Anna Kendrick, Tania Raymonde, Olivia York, Chuck Carter, Paul Wesley and Jon Gries.
What's it About?- The dangers of internet dating are many; giving computer access to disenchanted teen girls leads to nothing except loads of sex, excitement, a unearned sense of early independence, and most likely, either their rape or murder. Sometimes both. That being said, the internet also gives men of all ages the chance to be those teenage girls newest, dirty, shameful regret... For that, I personally love the internet. (Not the rape/murder part though.)
The town slut, Jillian, has a chain smoking fat pig of a mother, hates her small town life, and has no self esteem, so naturally she turns to the comfort of strange men to ease her pain. Her best friend, the angelic Sarah, is a cute little lame chick, who wont drink, smoke or have sex. Naturally, the "fun one" goes missing after one of her internet trysts, and the boring good girl sets out to find her.
Will Sarah find her slutty bestie? Does anyone in the town care that she's missing? Does no one else think that the odd girl is really creepy? What comes next is so ground-breakingly fresh and original that you can't possibly see it coming from a mile away, so I'll be careful not to spoil anything here, but suffice it to say that you'll see this one coming from a mile away.
The Good- I guess I'd have to say that this movie worked for what it was; in some ways, its a convoluted mess, many parts had me saying "Oh, come on!", and it was fairly predictable, but on some levels it also worked. Kinda.
Elswewhere tries to be and edgy teen thriller, but tends to come off as more like a sassy episode of Nancy Drew. The movie did have some decent tension and a few scares though, so to me it's a mixed bag. It actually managed to make we want to find out what happened. I also jumped once.
For the record, I've loved Tania Raymonde ever since she starred on LOST, which is the best show ever.
The Bad- I'm not sure which is creepier; the serial killing internet predator who skulks around town looking for new, young female victims, or... the"nice guy" frat loser who does his best to get girls drunk and then forcefully tires to "get with them." Seriously, is there that much of a difference? I feel for teenage girls. I really do.
The Downright Horrendous- Why, when you see your slutty friend being roughed up by some random internet pervert guy in an alley, would you not help her? Then later, when a killer tells you to back off or die, you don't listen and go creeping around their house, making calls to someones mom while you should be running to the cops? Poor writing sucks, as do these lame plot devices.
The Gory- Not so much; a very little bit of blood, and that's it.
The Naked- No, but we do get some teen girls in undies. Another huge waste of naughty potential, especially considering the premise of this movie.
Best Line- "You are such a Girl Scout" or "Don't tempt me."
What did we learn?- The internet is evil. Also, I totally need to buy a paintball gun.
Rating- C (5.0/10) I'm very mixed on this one. Part of me could care less about this movie, and yet part of me thought it was fair to middlin... The younger crowd may dig this one, but I think that more seasoned horror fans will just say "meh." I kinda dig it, but still find myself saying "Meh." Go figure.
Final Thoughts- I'm not even gonna say it.
