Halloween
Sub-Genre- Slasher/Remake
In Attendance- Me & Karrie (The whole gang's seen it too.)
Cast Members of Note- Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Daeg Faerch, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danielle Harris, Kristina Klebe and Hanna Hall.
What's it About?- Michael Myers is a little blond Danish kid who enjoys torturing animals, talking pictures of their carcass's, and carrying them around in a sack with him. His mom thinks it's what normal kids do, and since their entire family is nothing more than stereotypical whiskey-tango trash, maybe she's right.
It's all a moot point anyway, because eventually he graduates to killing people (starting with his whore sister and trashy step dad), gets locked up in the unsane asylum, and turns into a painter. Mask maker. Whatever, He paints the f'ing masks.
After 20 years Dr. Loomis can't seem to cure his insanity, so he tells him that they aren't friends anymore. That brilliant move prompts him to kill a bunch of guards and hospital staff, escape, and head back to Haddonfield to kill his other whore sister. In Laurie's defense, she was a baby when Michael knew her, so she couldn't really have been a whore, but she sure has the makings of one once she's all grown up. We know what she wants to do with Ben Tramer!
The Good- This remake is no way even close to what the 1978 original was, in any way... that being said, this is also an effective, if not flawed, remake that packs a nice punch and delivers the goods. This is a brutal, skanky, visceral version of Halloween, filled with sex, foul language, and the "colorful" characters that are staples in Zombie's movies. Where the original was more subtle, atmospheric and terrifying, this version is more violent, chaotic and tension filled.
Daeg Faerch is a great little Michael and Tyler Mane is equally as good as the grown up version, but the original Loomis and Laurie just can't be touched, though it's no fault of Malcolm McDowell or Scouty Compton. With Linda, it's pretty much a tie (because I dig Kristina Klebe.)
The Bad- Michael, why would you kill Danny Trejo like that? He's never been anything but nice to you!
The Downright Horrendous- Ok Rob Zombie, we get it; Michael Myers is a poor white trash kid with issues because he's got a stripper mom, an abusive step dad, and a whore sister. You didn't need to make the first ten minutes of your movie near unwatchable just to drive your point home... over, and over, and over... Really, if the movie started at the school, it would be better off for it.
The Gory- The blood flows freely in this one, and were treated to some nice kills. The best part of it all is that when the chicks get killed in this, they're all naked/topless and blood covered! You don't see that very often. Kudos, Rob Zombie.
The Naked- Sheri Moon Zombie might not get naked (she never does!) but this movie has all sorts of skin on display; Danielle Harris, Kristina Klebe and Hanna Hall all show their goods.
Best Line- "As a matter of fact... I do believe it was" or "I'm Joe Grizzly, bitch!"
What did we learn?- Parents are to blame for their kids turning out like shit. Also, If you have sex, you're going to be stabbed to death.
Rating- B+ (8.5/10) This is good stuff, especially if you like your horror mean spirited and rough. Zombie took an institution and gave it a different spin, and it mostly worked. If not for the awful beginning scene, I may have been tempted to give it an A-... maybe.
Final Thoughts- I love you, Kristina Klebe...
