DEAD ALIVE (a.k.a. Braindead)
Sub-Genre- Zombie
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The VG, Nick, and Cherrie.
Cast Members of Note- Timothy Balme, Diana Penalver, Elizabeth Moody, Stuart Devenie, and a crazy little mutant-baby puppet named Selwyn.
What's it About?- Lionel is a dweeb that lives at home with his mum and can't get laid to save his life. Forget laid, he can't even talk to a girl without having some sort of crazy fit of epic proportions. They hate him. Even dogs hate Lionel; they hate him so much that they go so far as to send assassins after him! You heard me right... dog assassins! Luckily for him, mum loves him and at least bath night is always fun at their house.
When mum gets bitten by a Sumatran Rape-Monkey, she starts to melt, ooze pus, and turn into a crazy, drippy zombie thing. Of course Lionel does the logical thing and keeps her locked in the cellar, rather than get some help. When the infection spreads, he's faced with a horde of wild and unruly zombies that he alone has to destroy, before they ooze and drip all over the place.
Insanity in its highest form ensues as Priests use karate against the undead, zombie babies wreak havoc, and 5.2 million gallons of blood are spilled. Will Lionel be able to contain the zombie outbreak to his basement? Will Paquita ever shave her upper lip? Will a lawnmower somehow come into play? No, no, and yes.
The Good- This movie is an all out, balls to the walls, gallons-o-blood ridiculously good time. Is it cheesy? Yes. Is it fun? Yes. Is it possibly the goriest movie of all time? Depending on how you judge your gore factors, yes. It's just f'ing nuts, and you really need to see it once just to say that you've "been there."
Let's not forget also that Peter Jackson is a genius. He has a visual style and way about his work that shows how much he loves it, even if the work is crazy and mindless like it is here. Aside from King Kong, he knows how to tell a story and entertain, and he's not afraid to take it to the limit either... just look at the gay love story between Frodo and Sam in LOTR; yep, he went there, and made us fall in love too.
The Bad- The karate priest went out WAY too early... I would have honestly watched an entire movie with Father Mcgruder karate fighting zombies.
The Downright Horrendous- Sorry Mom, but at the point when you turn into a zombie and repeatedly try to eat me, you're gonna have to take the big dirt nap. It will be tough, but I will burn you, chop you, blend you or blow you up in whatever way I can, because I will not die at the hands of a zombie, especially you.
The Gory- This may just be the goriest movie ever. No, I'm not exaggerating. It's pointless to list the crimson craziness here, you really need to see it for yourself.
The Naked- Um... we get some boobs, but... well, they're ginormous mutant-creature boobs, and they aren't nice at all.
Best Line- "I kick ass for the Lord!" or "Is that the one with the donkey and the chambermaid?" or "Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys." There are just too many great lines in this movie...
What did we learn?- Never piss off the Priest.
Rating- A (9.5/10) This movie is without a doubt one of the craziest and bloodiest we've ever seen, and as goofy as it is, is a true classic. Peter Jackson more than proved his brilliance before those little Lord of the Rings movies with this one, and if you haven't seen this yet, do so asap.
Final Thoughts- Peter Jackson rules.
