Anathema!
Suspiria was the last feature film ever processed in technicolor; The village voice called it the 100th best movie of the 20th century; It's so stylized visually, sonically and atmospherically, that it forces you to regard it in as being of a separate class of horror film; It's a classic. An all-time classic. If you don't understand that, horror may not be for you.
So many things will have to go right with this remake to make it watchable, let alone good. Even the rumored involvement of Natalie Portman may not be enough to save this project.
Does Hollywood get that It's not supposed to make sense? Do they see that the dreamlike surrealism, use of color, score, and over the top gore has purpose? Legitimate, artistic purpose. This was a mans vision, not just some movie that he directed. There were no cheap scares in the original, no jump cuts, no lame ass twist endings... Suspiria was meant to be beautiful, and to scare the crap out of you, both of which it managed to do brilliantly.
If you require a tidy plot, all telling information dumps, a crappy soundtrack filled with crappy bands, cookie cutter-stereotypical characters, or a good wrap up at the conclusion, you should go watch 99% of what Hollywood puts out each year, and leave this one for the big boys.
Vision is required here; a twisted and bold sense of vision. Someone who gets horror and loves it.
David Gordon Green, the supposed director of the supposed upcoming remake had this to say:
“No, it doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it’s wicked. I love it, plot holes and everything. Suspiria is a classic for me, I want to be scared. I want to be afraid. It’s an opportunity to take all artistic excellence and be inspired by what was a low budget Italian 70’s gore movie, where the art world meets the violent and supernatural. I would love to get every geek that loves torture porn and every old lady in line to see ‘Phantom of the Opera’ to come and have this insane experience.”
Promising words form a pretty good director (I just saw his Snow Angels, and it was a great film, technically and stylistically), but still, the whole thing just makes me nervous.
I have two things left to say:
-This at very least needs to be rated R.
-There better not be any use of suck job CGI.
Release date- Unknown
Verdict- This one may be destined for remake hell
