Vampires
Sub-Genre- Vampire
In Attendance- Me, Geo, Machine, Chris and Christian.
Cast Members of Note- The one and only James Woods! Also, Daniel Baldwin, The bad guy from Karate Kid 3, and Laura Palmer from Twin Peaks.
What's it about?- Basically its the story of a vampire hunter, James Woods, who hunts down a master vampire, they guy who betrayed Daniel-San in The Karate Kid 3, because he killed all of his whores. And friends too. It's the Daniel-San thing that hurts him most of all though.
Our hero, along with the least cool Baldwin brother set out to find the bloodsucker with a hottie/half vamp in tow. If they can kill him before she fully turns, they can save her life and the Baldwin can do it with her all he wants to without fear of being eaten.
From here on out, the mayhem and carnage kick into full gear, and by the end, only two people are still "Alive."
The Good- This movie sure has taken it's share of crap from critics (most of whom have no pulse to begin with), and for the life of me I cant figure out why. Sure, it's not a cinematic masterpiece, but then again it isn't supposed to be. It's a horror movie, and one of the fun variety. It certainly doesn't hearken back to the early 80's Carpenter films and their grandeur, but neither does it shit on them.
What we have here is a fun, bloody vampire movie that gives us an interesting premise and James Woods as the bad ass undead-slayer. How can you not love James Woods in all of his "Woodsness" bitch slapping a bunch of vampires around?
The Bad- I wish it could have followed the book a bit more.
The Downright Horrendous- The Catholic Church once again proves that it harbors dark secrets and evil plots. Also, priests that rape.
The Gory- Vampires killing people, people killing vampires... Blood and violence are everywhere!
The Naked- Not only do we get a motel party full of loose women in various states of undress, but we get the yummy Sheryl Lee pretty much fully naked. Neat.
Best Line- "I killed my own father, padre. I got no trouble killing you." or "Well first of all, they're not romantic. Its not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right?"
What did we learn?- The Vatican knows vampires are real! They have a team lead by James Woods that hunts and kills them.
Rating- B+ This movie isn't perfect, but it's a fun time and a sight better than most crap vampire movies you'll come across. You should own it, or at very least rent it.
Final Thoughts- Sheryl Lee is just hot.
