The Blob (1988)
Sub-Genre- Monster
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The Vanilla Gorilla, and Nick.
Cast Members of Note- Hotties Shawnee Smith and Erika Eleniak (only in one scene, jerks), Kevin Dillon(Johnny Drama from Entourage), and a guy that looks like Famous Amos.
What's it about?- Essentially, this is a story about space Jell-O. Angry at life, it travels here and decides "Hey, I'm gonna eat people for a change!" and the havoc begins. The greasy leather wearing town bad boy decides "Fuck that, Jell-O aint eatin' me!" and starts popping wheelies on his motorcycle. Since being fired from the carnival, he hasn't had much of a chance to do any trick riding... I wonder if the new developments will finally let him do any cool jumps or life-saving gravity-defying maneuvers? Yeah, you know it's gonna happen.
His trailer park Evel Knievel act is too much for the town hottie to resist, so she hooks up with him, trading in her pom-poms for cigarettes and danger. Together, they battle the raging mass of (strawberry?) Jell-O, the government, and the towns disdain for their forbidden love.
I wont ruin the ending here, but let's just say it gets messy and as usual, it's a priest that fucks everything up.
The Good- This is a great example of a fun, effective horror movie that mixes a bit of schlock with great effects and a good story. Why they cant make them like this anymore, I cant tell you.
Kevin Dillon rules as the town rebel, and he gets the hot love of Shawnee Smith at the end. It's his power mullet. How can she resist that!?! I can't even resist it, and I'm not even gay. Anymore.
The song that plays over the closing credits is "Brave New Love" by Swedish rock band, Alien. It's a great unknown rocker that deserved a better shot at airplay.
The Bad- Why Shawnee Smith wasn't naked in this, I'll never know.
The Downright Horrendous- I'm kinda scared of Jell-O now.
The Gory- Plenty of body melting goodness! The blob pretty much dissolves, smothers, smashes, chokes and eats anything in it's way. Nice job on the gooey effects in this one.
The Naked- God I wish.
Best Line- "I think... you pissed it off." or "Ribbed!"
What did we learn?- Jello is evil, and Kevin Dillon wears a mullet surprisingly well.
Rating- A This is just a cool, fun horror flick from the 80's... It doesn't insult the viewers intelligence, the characters are likable, and it has one of the coolest closing credits songs ever. Buy it, or risk being lame.
Final Thoughts- Shawnee Smith and Erika Eleniak are in this. Double yum.
