The Blair Witch Project
Sub-Genre- Supernatural/Backwoods Shenanigans
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, The Vanilla Gorilla, and Nick.
Cast Members of Note- None, because they all made me mad!
What's it about?- 2 guys and a harpy head into the woods to uncover the truth behind the legend of a witch... and never return! Dun-dun-dun!
It all stars off just fine until they get lost, the harpy starts whining and screaming every two seconds, and the forces of the supernatural start messing with them. (The old shaving cream in the hand trick was great... good one witchie!)
They start to lose their minds, one of the d-bag guys throws the map into the creek, and they turn down Jean-Claude Van Damme's offer of assistance... He most certainly would have beaten the witch for them. Stupid kids.
I wont ruin the ending here, but suffice it to say I would have left his ass in the house with a scream of "I'm going for help!"
The Good- This one worked for me; I bought into the hype, got lost in the story, and despite its flaws, enjoyed this for what it was; and exercise in "what the hell would I do if that was me?"
Like it or not, you have to give this little flick a lot of credit. Made for $35,000, it grossed 248 million worldwide. They marketed this movie like a beast, and it worked. Most of it was improvised, the directors going so far as to dump them in the woods with GPS trackers which would lead them to their "Scene" improv instructions each day. They desensitized the actors, then fucked with them... that's brilliant.
I was waiting for the payoff of actually seeing the witch, but it was just as effective the way they handled it.
The Bad- Am I the only one who thought "Why aren't they making weapons out of sticks?"
The Downright Horrendous- I tried to choke my TV twice trying to get at Heather Donahue's neck. God she was annoying as hell.
The Gory- Some bloody teeth in a care package, that's about all we get.
The Naked- No, thank god.
Best Line- "I'm afraid to close my eyes, I'm afraid to open them."
What did we learn?- Stay out of the woods. Also, never piss off a witch.
Rating- B+ This one is an A in many ways, but its ambiguity makes it a B+. Brilliant in many ways, frustrating in others, you must at least see this if not own it.
Final Thoughts- She apparently got waaaay hotter.
