It's bad enough that they pushed it back a few times, debated releasing it at all, and even toyed with the idea of a direct to DVD release when the advance buzz was good for the film, but now this?
102 theaters, for a whopping total of 32,000 in ticket sales on its opening weekend.
Disaster Movie will hit 3000 screens at the end of the month though, you can be sure of that. I challenge you to check out the trailer for that hunk of shit and fight off the urge to kill yourself, or resist setting a puppy on fire. It's that bad. But since there are plenty-o-retards in the world, we will be seeing that one in wide release.
Saw V will get a wide release. Yay! A series that's getting more ridiculous than Friday the 13th ever did will see tons of theaters! This time out, Jigsaw's maid uses a time machine to enact a bunch of traps that coincide with the events of Saw 2, yet seem as if Jigsaw is still alive and well! Don't forget the wacky-shocking twist ending! This series didn't jump the shark after Saw 3, it absolutely raped the shark.
At least we can expect another Tyler Perry and a Dane Cook movie this fall from Lionsgate! The only thing more horrific than that would be if Joe drake came to my house and dismembered my Grandmother during Thanksgiving dinner. He probably wouldn't even have the decency to pass the gravy.
Who is Joe Drake you ask? Well he is the COO/President of Lionsgate who is burying MMT out of spite for his predecessor. Politics. Yeah, I'm being serious.
Look, I know a Clive Barker flick isn't going to do Dark Knight numbers in 2300+ theaters, hell, it wouldn't even do Mamma Mia numbers, but that isn't the point...
The point is, that horror fans are getting screwed. Barker fans are getting screwed. The people that broke their ass on the movie are getting screwed... and worst of all, Lionsgate is the one doing the screwing?
Weren't they the saviors of horror a few years ago? Didn't they help pull the genre out of the horrific slump it was in at the end of the 90's? Didn't they give us The Blair Witch, American Psycho, High Tension, House of 1000 Corpses, Ju-On, Saw, The Devils Rejects, Hostel, The Descent, Hard Candy, Teeth... love them or hate them, it sure seemed to me like they were trying to give us something that other studios wouldn't... It seemed like they loved horror, and cared about us fans.
And now what? They are turning their backs on the fans that built their company up... That's what.
No Midnight Meat Train for us, because their President has a personal grudge against the flick.
Fuck them.
