The Burrowers
Sub-Genre- Creature
In Attendance-Me
Cast Members of Note- The always great Clancy Brown, Sean Patrick Thomas, Karl Geary, and LOST's Doug Hutchinson (Horace Goodspeed) and William Mapother (Ethan Rom)!
What's it about?- Imagine a cross between Silverado and The Descent, with a bit of C.H.U.D. thrown in for good measure. Add to that, elements of Gone With the Wind, Karate Cop, and Neon Maniacs, and you might just have an idea of what The Burrowers is truly all about... or I may have just suffered brain damage from my recent flu-induced fever. Either way, it's a cowboy movie set in the civil war era dealing with subterranean creatures that like to bury and then liquefy innocent settlers. Ooh, I forgot Dances With Wolves; Indians and buffalo are involved, so naturally the comparison is totally valid.
When a family of settlers is attacked by odd creatures, leaving some of them dead, and the rest taken away as an odd prairie carry-out type of thing, the cowboys of Rim Ridge spring into action, blaming everything on the Indians. Of course. Everything was the Indians fault... If you're a white devil that is!
They give chase to the "Injuns" (which in fact are mutoid creatures that live inderground), heading from Rim Ridge, all the way to Brokeback Mountain, using the much feared Reacharound Pass... they're careful to avoid "The Gulch" though; Tex passed through The Gulch once, and he came back a shattered man. Blood, carnage, and sweaty cowboy bonding ensues.
The Good- I love westerns, and surprisingly, a horror movie set in the old west worked pretty well for me. The Burrowers was slow paced, but it did a nice job of building a sense of desolation and dread that served the story well.
The concept of what The Burrowers are, what they do, and why they do it, was really cool. It's also pretty disturbing and downright nasty, and I found it to be pretty fresh and interesting.
The Bad- Will the gay cowboy jokes ever end? Nope. Thanks a lot Ang Lee!
The Downright Horrendous- I can't imagine being paralyzed and buried alive for days, feeling your insides being melted by an acid like substance, and then having sharp toothed monsters dig you up and suck you dry. ALIVE AND CONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME! That's seriously disturbing.
The Gory- this one has some decent gore in it, my favorite part being The Burrowers using people as living drink boxes... it's a nasty concept.
The Naked- Unless I missed something, nope.
Best Line- Anything Doug Hutchinson said; he's just that damn good.
What did we learn?- Killing Buffalo will make monsters plot revenge. Also, anyone who has acted in LOST is pretty damn awesome.
Rating- B- (7/10) A nice above average flick, with an interesting premise and solid production/acting value. The slow pace and lack of action may turn some off though, but it's well made. I say check it out.
Final Thoughts- Life on the range must have been brutal and savage.
