TITLE
Sub-Genre- Killer Virus/Infected
In Attendance- Me, Machine, and Ms. Machine.
Cast Members of Note- Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Danielle Panabaker, and Joe Anderson.
What's it About?- The small town of Asscrack Iowa is turned on its ear and ravaged by a nasty little virus that turns its residents into pissed of, zombie-like killing machines, and it's up to sheriff Bad-Ass to save the day. He's up to it too, don't let his kind smile fool you. He will make a hand knife and rock your world!
It's not long before the government shows up in creepy containment suits, separating the healthy from the sick, and herding them on buses which are going to take them all to "Safety." Luckily for his wife, sheriff Bad-Ass realizes that "Safety" means "Were going to kill you", and he stages a one man war against the man, determined to get his wife to safety!
Things go from bad to worse as the sheriff and his posse of survivors try to find a tractor or something to get them out of dodge, to no avail. Who will live? Who will die? Will the government prove to be evil and self-serving by covering their blunder up, or do the right thing and own up to their mistake and help. Ha. We all know the answer to that last one.
The Good- This was pretty entertaining. I thought it was darker and a bit more sinister than the 70's original, and that's a good thing. Bloody, nasty and pretty intense, The Crazies made the most of the "infected" sub genre, and managed to make me squirm a few times. It reminded me an awful lot of 1988's The Blob, in tone and feel; small town, evil government, raging contagion... although the absence of Brian Flagg was obvious.
Timothy Olyphanrt is a hell of an actor, and he was great in this. He has this likable quality about him and an underlying aura of bad-assery that is a perfect mix. Radha Mitchell is a hot little Aussie actress that is quickly becoming one of my favorite genre stars. She can also act her ass off too, and very naturally, which makes her doubly dangerous on screen.
The Bad- Stay here? A virus has driven the entire town stark raving mad, the government is running around killing anyone they find alive who isn't in a containment suit, the local hillbilly militia is doing the same thing, and you want me to stay out here in the dark while you run off to "check things out?" Go to hell. You know you're going to come back and I'll be gone. Do you want me dead? UGH!
The Downright Horrendous- Again, an otherwise good horror movie has to sue the dreaded jump scare music cue to elicit scares... This movie had enough tension and creepiness about it that I didn't need to be told every 5 minutes that something was scary, and especially by a suddenly loud and sharp musical cue. Maybe I bitch about it too much, but it's a cheap tactic that IS NOT necessary. Especially in a movie like this.
The Gory- There's a fair amount of blood and violence in this one, and some of it was fairly surprising and fun. By fun I mean messy and nasty, which is what we consider fun. All I have to say is the part with the scissors in the hand may be my favorite scene so far this year. Ouch. And the guy with the pitchfork was really creepy, and really liked to use it. A lot.
The Naked- Nope. Not that kind of horror flick. However, Radha Mitchell can be seen naked in a bunch of her other movies. She also seems partial to doing lesbian sex scenes on camera. That, coupled with her past genre roles, accent and hotness, makes her a legitimate Horror Hottie on the rise.
What did we learn?- Don't drink the water. Also, whenever someone tells you "stay here", tell them to go to hell and follow them wherever they go. Splitting up is just silly.
The Master Says- B (7.0/10) The crazies was a good remake that despite the issues I had with it, left me satisfied and even curious to see it again. Timothy Olyphant is way underrated as an actor, as i the hot, hot , hot Radha Mitchell, and I think they were perfectly cast in this. You won't be remiss spending your dough to see this one, unless you really don't like the whole "infected" sub genre. Check it out.Final Thoughts- Two hotties in this one makes for very happy horror fans!
