I SELL THE DEAD
Sub-Genre- Zombie/Supernatural
In Attendance- Moi, as everyone else is out Trick r' Treating...
Cast Members of Note- Dominic Monaghan, Ron Perlman, Larry Fessenden, and The Tall Man himself, Angus Scrimm.
What's it About?- Arthur and Willie are grave robbers (which was apparently a legitimate profession in 18th century Ireland... who knew?) who love to be drunk and traffic in graveyard goods. The goods however, turn out to be some very off the wall and creepy things... and I'm not sure how they make for a more lucrative trade, but they do. Who buys zombies? I mean really? Why?
They soon get tired of working for the meager pittance that The Tall Man deals out to them, and strike out on their own to get rich or die tryin'. The trouble is, they have to deal with a brutal and creepy rival grave robbing gang, vampires, zombies, and an assortment of other nefarious creatures, including the law which eventually catches up with them, and the guy that played Hellboy. The proverbial deck is stacked against them.
So facing execution for his crimes, Arthur recounts his adventures to Father Hellboy, and hopes that it's enough to earn him a stay of execution. Or not. I'm sure he doesn't want to die in any event. Will Arthur and Willie prevail? Will the Murphy gang creep them out to the point of just wanting to die? Will the whore apprentice screw everything up and land them in hot water? Well of course... but to which one? Dun, dun, dun...
The Good- This movie has a very light and fun feel to it, and plays almost like a love letter to horror fans. It almost has a cartoon-ish feel to it, though not in a goofy way, and I like how the humor was mostly subtle as opposed to over the top, because it made the movie work all the better.
I loved the use of flashbacks as well, which were very effective. And they stylish visuals just add to the fun atmosphere of this dark humor laced movie. It's always nice to see Ron Perlman, especially since Sons of Anarchy is such a great show and he's bad ass on it. Ditto for Dominic Monaghan, LOST's favorite son Charlie, who proves that he can be good outside of The Shire and off of the Island.
The Bad- The bird? Really?!? Poor little pappy... Oh crap, the rabbit too? Why do horror movies hate animals so much? I feel bad for all things cute an furry in this genre, because there is no hope for them!
The Downright Horrendous- Why does the slutty chick always go and spoil things for everyone in these movies? Maybe if Charlie Pace would have kept it in his pants, things wouldn't have gone from bad to worse as quickly as they did. Then again it's virtually impossible to resist a sexy tart wielding the British accent... I know I couldn't do it.
The Gory- There's some gore to be had here, including a really nice throat slashing, zombie violence, vampire violence, animal violence, a beheading... though not a gore-fest, it's still good times!
The Naked- No, we don't get to see Fanny's fanny. Tis' a shame.
What did we learn?- Grave Robbin' ain't easy. Also, never listen to the slutty chick, it can only lead to bad things.
The Master Says- B+ (8.5/10) This movie was all kinds of fun from the cool monsters, to the black humor, to the awesome cast of actors. I wish it had been a bit longer, as more of a good thing can't hurt, but overall the run time worked as it was supposed to. It's definitely a movie made for horror fans, by horror fans, and should definitely be on your list of things to see.Final Thoughts- I dig the multiple posters...
