The Amityville Horror (2005)
The Woods (2006)
P2 (2007)
Rachel Nichols... She, perhaps above all others, deserves every bit of my creepy and unhealthy affection. I'd count the many ways that I love her, but I would have to take time away from masturbating to that picture above; quite frankly, even the thought of that insults me.
At the "Just right" age of 28, she has put together an impressive body of work thus far, although the impressiveness of her work pales in comparison to her actual body, and also her face. The "Come fuck me" look in her eyes is impressive too. I assume that its her body of work though, that keeps her in the spotvaginalight. See what I did there?
It all started with her now classic turn as the weed smoking, whore babysitter in 2005's The Amityville Horror... It's the stuff that dreams are made of really; dirty, filthy, unattainable dreams... As Lisa, she wowed critics and audiences alike (my pants included), with only a few scant minutes on screen.
This movie has also provided us with the Horror Hottie showdown of the decade: Rachel vs. Mmmelissa George!!! Wow, it's mind boggling to think that two bangin' Horror Hotties could occupy the same celluloid space and not cause some sort of space/time anomaly... I have to believe that Ryan Reynolds somehow got the two of them into a steamy on set trailer threesome. If he didn't, he has failed mankind.
I mean look at her below; she hasn't even gotten her coat off before the husband and the son are giving her looks that scream "Rape", Melissa George looks as if shes terrified to admit that she wants to do her too, and dad gives one last "I could send the wife to dinner alone and stay behind..." look as they head out the door. See for yourself:
When she played the bitchy Samantha in The Woods a year later in 2006, my admiration for her "craft" only grew. This time, she's sassy and evil, and wearing a schoolgirl uniform. Who cares what the damn movie was about (even though it was pretty good), she's a naughty schoolgirl. Too bad that the "Got caught smoking/punished in detention by the perverted old pedo-dean" scene was cut. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the special edition, unrated, director's cut DVD. It comes with an hand towel from what I hear.
* Not to be confused with Evan Rachel Wood. (The hotness factor is fairly similar though.)
*We clear now? See what I did there?
Rachel ventured into horror one more time, in 2007's P2. The movie focus's on Rachel being so hot, that some guy locks her in a parking garage and tries to rape/marry/kill her. This movie totally rips off the script i'm constantly writing in my mind, which has the exact same plot. Mine isn't just limited to a parking garage though; sometimes it's a cabin on a lake; sometimes it's in a broom closet at 7-11; once, it was even set in an igloo... anyways, she's pretty hot in this flick.
So yeah, horror, horror, blah, blah, blah... Time for another pic!
She has range too, people; could just any run of the mill actress handle demanding roles in Sex and the City, and Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd?
It's more than clear that Rachel Nichols has made an impression on the world of horror, and is really, really, seriously hot. There may be no "Horror" flicks in her immediate future, but I'll be damned if G.I. Joe doesn't look horrific in its own right.
Thank you Rachel. Call me.
