Kill Theory (2009)
Sub-Genre- Survival/Slasher
In Attendance- Me. Machine, Erin, and The VG.
Cast Members of Note- Agnes Bruckner, Taryn Manning, the "New to me" hotness of Ryanne Duzich, and Waingro himself, Kevin Gage!
What's it about?- A bunch of yuppie larvae head out into the woods to celebrate their impending college graduation, which involves beer, guns, slutty chicks in bikini's, sex and an oiled up silk pillow case race through a pool of JELL-O... and also a creepy killer who wants them all to kill each other by 6 A.M.
They are instructed to bump each other off or all be killed as punishment, and they start to do just that. It's kind of sad to me that friends and lovers turn on each other when threatened with painful death; I mean, I'd kill all of my friends, slowly, painfully, but I'd be real sad about it. Or maybe not. Hell, it makes for a fun game I guess... Either way, betrayal and painful death ensue.
I won't spoil the ending here, but suffice it to say that the last person alive isn't who I thought it'd be, and the "Twist" at the end was cool, without being unbelievable.
The Good- Finally, a stalk and slash movie that didn't leave me feeling just mostly satisfied, or vaguely pissed off... It was lean, mean, well paced, well scripted and the actors all did a great job. Oh, and it's a little bit messed up and bloody too. Did I mention that I thought the ending was perfect too?
This was just a well made movie, with some hot chicks and some good kills, and I for one hope it gets a theatrical release before hitting DVD. I know it was made in 2007, and obviously went through some re-shoots, but this movie is so much better than most of the dreck we get in theaters... like The Spirit, Saw 53, Disaster Movie... are those all Lionsgate films? Oops. Get on the damn stick, Lionsgate! Don't "Meat Train" this movie!
The Bad- Am I crazy or did I not catch Carly Pope in this movie? This movie obviously underwent some pretty big re-shoots/trimming, as many of the pictures I had seen from the flick online showed me things that weren't in the movie... like a different killer! the movie rocked with the changes, but it makes me curious to see the cut stuff...
The Downright Horrendous- Once again, the tight bodied slutty chick denies the token fat guy a piece of tail, just because he's geeky, socially awkward, and can only seem to generate chemistry with baked goods. Especially pie. It's discrimination I tell you!
The Gory- Shovel violence, eye violence, cool looking knife violence, man-bear trap violence... this movie has some pretty wicked and bloody kills!
The Naked- We get one pair of boobs for a second of two, and Ryanne Duzich gets pretty skimpy too, though only teases us in the end.
Best Line- "Deep down, we're all killers." or "That's called closure."
What did we learn?- Women never forget once you've cheated... never! Also, don't trust your friends, they'll kill you if they can.
Rating- B++ Yes, I added two plus's; I need to see it again before I decide if it's classic enough for an A- grade, so for now, it's a B+ and then some. This was a bad ass little survival/slasher flick, that didn't make me scream at the screen 20 times... well, other than the occasional "show your boobs!"... I don't know when it's coming out either theatrically or on DVD, but see it when it does.
Final Thoughts- Oh hell yeah she's in this!
