CASE 39
Sub-Genre- Evil Kids
In Attendance- US!
Cast Members of Note- Renee Zellweger, Bradley Cooper, Jodelle Ferland, Kerry O'Malley, Callum Keith Rennie, and the awesome Ian McShane.
What's it About?- Poor little Lilith; her parents hate her and all she wants to do is be loved. They neglect her, tell her they want to send her to hell, and they even go so far as to shove her in the oven and try to bake her to death. That poor little thing! She's so cute that I can't imagine... Wait a minute. Her name is Lilith, right? Okay. I get it now.
Along comes the chick from Jerry Maguire with her puckered face to save the day. She's a social worker with a heart of gold who decides that taking sweet little Lilith in is a great idea, despite all of the screaming hints to the contrary telling her that she shouldn't. Coincidentally, everyone she knows and loves start succumbing to very bizarre and violent deaths. That's odd, huh?
When Lilith's true nature is revealed, it's pucker-faced foster mom vs. hellspawn in a battle of cunning and guile. Who will win? Who will lose? How many people will be afraid to be foster parents after watching this movie? I won't spoil what comes next here, but suffice it to say that pedicide is sometimes not only necessary, but completely understandable. Also, fire. Kill it with it.
The Good- I was totally surprised at how much I liked this movie. Don't get me wrong, I didn't love it to death, and watching prune faced Renee Zelweger for too long makes me more than moody, but all in all I think they pulled off what they intended with this one. Fairly creepy, pretty interesting, and solidly engaging... that about sums it up. Some of it felt a bit trite, but for the most part it worked. I liked the demonic kid angle as opposed to just an insane tyke running around with a knife or something. Dare I say it was refreshing?
Though I'm not a big fan of Zellweger at all, the rest of the cast did a great job. Most notably Bradley Cooper, who is always enjoyable to watch for me, and little Jodelle Ferland, who did a pretty good job of keeping me unsettled through the whole thing. I'd be remiss not to mention how awesome Ian McShane is as well. I love that British bad ass. He just oozes machismo and chews scenery. If you don't agree that he rules, I dare you to tell him that to his face.
The Bad- I'm sorry, but as much of a bleeding heart as I can be, there's no way I'm taking in some creepy little urchin whose parents stuffed her into a an oven, let alone keep her when my loved ones start dying mysteriously all around me after I do. That's just too much baggage for me. Something is just bound to go wrong.
The Downright Horrendous- Fuck the sleeping pills, give me a gun that fires horse tranquilizer laced darts. That would be far more effective and surefire in my opinion. Then, you get a grenade, maybe some C4, use it, and THEN you set whatever is left on fire... That's how I'd handle things, but then again I always say go big or stay home. Then again, I stay home a lot.
The Gory- Insect attacks, attempted child baking, dog packs violence... there's more violence/disturbing acts in this one that there is gore. Still, it's all pretty effective.
The Naked- No dice, although the ladies might like the fact that we get to see Bradley Cooper sans shirt. Yay?
What did we learn?- Being a foster parent can be very dangerous. Also, kill it with fire.
The Master Says- B- (7.0/10) Case 39 is a fairly solid effort for what it is; a familiar story with a fairly predictable and linear plot line. Still, the little demon bastard was fairly creepy, and her antics were at times pretty awesome. Old squinty-eyes herself (Zellweger) was cringe inducing as usual, but she had a pretty good cast around her that made me forgive the fact that she was there. Mostly. I say check this one out when it hits DVD and go see Avatar again instead at the theater. Then again, you could do a lot worse at the theater, so maybe go and support it anyways.Final Thoughts- Once upon a time, I used to think she was hot...
