Acolytes (2009)
Sub-Genre- Serial Killer
In Attendance- Meeeeeeeee!
Cast Members of Note- The hotness of Hanna Mangan Lawrence, Joel Edgerton, Michael Dorman, Sebastian Gregory, and Joshua Payne. Directed by Jon Hewitt.
What's it about?- Mark and James are best mates, and Chasely is the sassy young harlot who comes between them with her schoolgirl uniform and blossoming sexuality; you see, Chasely and Mark are an item, but like James likes her and stuff, but she doesn't know what to do because she thinks she likes James or whatever but she doesn't like know for like sure... OMG! (This concludes my good-natured poke at teenage culture. What can I say, I'm snarky like that.)
One day, while they're all making out together in the woods, James wanders off (presumably to rub one out) and stumbles upon Somebody's Dad burying something and then running off. Soon enough, they find out that Somebody's Dad is actually a serial killer, and that they've stumbled onto his hunting/burial grounds. At least Somebody's Dad didn't catch them snooping around, or they may have just ended up grounded... to death! (Stop rolling your eyes, It's the best that I've got!)
I really don't want to explain away too much more of the plot other than to say that instead of calling the cops and reporting their grisly discovery, they decide to track the killer down and do their best to blackmail him. I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that things pretty much go to hell from there on out.
The Good- I've been waiting for what seems like forever to see this movie, and when I finally had the chance to, I wasn't disappointed at all. This is a taut, tense thriller, that may walk the road of "Now why would they do that instead of...?" territory, but makes up for it with high marks in every other category. Visually, this movie is stunning. The characters, though frustratingly dumb at times (because sometimes kids can be that way), are believable and sympathetic. The script is great. The casting, cinematography, direction... works on all levels.
I also like that there were several twists and turns in the plot which never seemed like the "twists" that so many horror flicks get caught up in trying to amaze us with these days; instead, they were actually important plot developments, and were handled perfectly. Thank you Jon Hewitt for not treating horror fans like we're idiots... it's quite a refreshing feeling for a change.
Some have said that the beginning half of this movie dragged a little, but I beg to differ; the first half of the movie seemed to me a meditation of sorts on teenagers, in which sexual angst and troubled pasts are set up to play an important role in what comes later. Good stuff.
The Bad- Again, stupid kids making painfully stupid decisions all but decides their fate. Are all teenagers truly this frigging dumb? I mean, I did plenty of stupid shit in my youth, but never anything close to blackmailing a serial killer or trashing my moms car on purpose. Or antagonizing a recently paroled bully that once raped me. Just call the damned cops!
The Downright Horrendous- The whole rape subplot was really creepy. I know it's rape, so of course it's a disturbing topic, but the dirty flashback scenes really skeeved me out.
The Gory- There are definitely some scenes filled with uncomfortable violence to be found here; the film doesn't go overboard with the gore, but it's surely effective when it strikes. I guess it's really more disturbing that graphic for the most part.
The Naked- This movie is filled with teen sexuality and erotic angst but no nudity save a mom bathing with her baby.
Best Line- "Do you know what an acolyte is Petra? It's a beginner."
What did we learn?- Teenagers shouldn't ever leave the house; it's just too dangerous for them out there. Also, never antagonize a sociopath.
Final Thoughts- For the record, Hanna Mangan Lawrence is a sexpot. You heard it here first.
