Vinyan
Sub-Genre- Paranormal?/Jungle Horror
In Attendance- Me
Cast Members of Note- Emmanuelle Beart, Rufus Sewell, and Julie Dreyfus.
What's it about?- A Tsunami displaces thousands of kids and turns them into face painted Lord of the Flies cast members, including the son of our main characters. For the first 4 minutes of this movie were treated to huge, blocky lettered credits, and some water bubbling. I guess that was the tsunami that washed away their son?
Anyways, a distraught mother "Sees" her believed-to-be-dead son on a video tape of Thai orphans, and makes her husband take them to the jungles of Thailand to find him. They receive the help of a Thai girly-boy, who helps them find an underworld gangster, who promptly takes half a million of their money to find the boy, then does nothing for them. Another wispy Thai gangster kills the first one, and promises to help them instead.
The wife proceeds to draw in books, babbles incessantly, tries to swim after boat, freaks out randomly, gives money away behind her husbands back, hits hubby with a rock, gets rubbed up by small children...
I have nothing else to say.
The Good- Gorgeous locations and striking visuals are the highpoint of this film. The usually great actors involved were unfortunately given some shit parts, and didn't have much to work with.
I had high hopes for this one, and on some levels it delivered, but overall it was the poor actions of the main characters that did the movie in.Once it became ridiculous, I started to notice how slow and uneventful it really was, and by the time anything happened, I didn't care.
The Bad- Am I wrong, or was the last scene in the movie a grade school gang bang in the making? VERY odd.
The Downright Horrendous- I can't begin to tell you how annoying and nonsensical the wife was in this movie. She sees the back of a kid on a video tape who she thinks is her lost son, makes her husband go into the jungles of Thailand and pay some Thai criminals half a million dollars to help them find him, proceeds to act bat-shit crazy, then screws hubby over at the end with "You let him go?" I would have divorced her on the spot.
The Gory- This movie is light on the gore. Aside from one scene at the end, and a few brief flashes here and there, it was pretty bloodless.
The Naked- We do get Emmanuelle Beart naked, but some of it was creepy-style.
Best Line- "Josh, go home!" Made me laugh out loud.
What did we learn?- Always ditch your crazy wife, especially if another hot chick is all over you. Also, once again, kids suck.
Rating- D (4.0/10) This movie is frustrating on many levels, and rewarding on few. I think it pissed me off so much because it had a lot of promise, and worked on some levels, but really shit the bed on most others. Lots of people might like this, I'm just not one of them.
Final Thoughts- Emmanuelle Beart is hot.
