Some Witches will scare the fuck out of you. They will make you pee your bed when you're a kid, and carry the dark shame with you all the next day at school, all the while hiding in your closet just waiting for you to fall asleep the next night.
Some Witches are whores. It's true, some of them dress all slutty and have captivating cleavage that makes you rub the TV screen and whisper "Someday... Someday." This is all a part of their charm.
Some Witches are adorable. They make you fall in love with them when you're in 7th grade, prompting you to write letters to them; cast love spells made from a concoction of Prell, teddy bear fuzz and ginger ale; or take a running dive off of your garage on a broom, because you jsut know that you can fly if you only believe... Bitch.
Some Witches are evil. Oh, they're out there, the fiendish ones, hiding in your VCR, talking in badly dubbed English and making you never want to trust Italian film makers again. Then again, who really trusts them anyways?
Some Witches are tricky. They seem all hot and innocent, but guess what? They aren't really a music student with a cat, they're one of the Three Mothers (just like the creepy old bitch above the hot one), and they want to rip your fucking face off.
Some witches are lame. They pray to trees and shit. Yeah.
Some Witches don't look like Witches at all. These are the best kind, as evidenced by Sabrina the Teenage Witch; she hates clothes, and I fully support her not wearing them.Love them, fear them, have illicit thoughts of them, it doesnt matter; in one way or another, they will mess you up for life.
