The Midnight Meat Train
Sub-Genre- Slasher/Serial Killer
In Attendance- Me, Eryn, and The Vanilla Gorilla.
Cast Members of Note- Vinnie Jones!
What's it about?- Despite the rather obvious title, this is not a gay porn movie. There are no all-male gang bangs to be found here, nor does anyone "ease the train into the station. " No one "greases the tracks" either. Really people, get your mind's out of the gutter.
It is however about a mute, raving mad butcher that dresses up in suits and rides the subway at night, hoping to find some people to talk to. No one ever wants to be friends with him though, so he figures why not kill and skin them. They should have been nicer!
A photographer and his girlfriend soon discover the killer and his murderous ways, and set out to stop him. Dumb asses. How about just don't take the damn train anymore? You know, and be safe? I wont ruin any more about the plot, because I hate spoilers, but suffice it to say that things get messy and not very fun for those involved. I guess it is almost like gay porn.
The Good- This was a good movie overall, though it deviated from the book a bit. Clive Barker's original short story covered thing that the movie didn't, and vice versa; We got a few POV's from Mahogany, which was cool and gave interesting insight into the goings on; there was no cat and mouse game between Mahogany and Kaufman; and there was no girlfriend getting involved in things... the biggest difference to me was the way the ending was handled though; I won't get into that here, as the movie is new and I'm sure it hasn't been seen yet by many, but the ending in the book was, for lack of a better word, better.
This movie still rocks though. It's creepy, violent, bloody, disturbing, and the story is interesting. The characters do some stupid things, but overall they are likable and in Mahogany's case, terrifying. Vinnie Jones is spot on as Mahogany, the butcher of the meat train; he barely utters one word, yet manages to tell you everything you need to know with his creepy looks and mannerisms.
The Bad- With all of the creepy stuff going on in your life, two just leave their apartment door open and walk into the other room to discuss the creepiness. I hate nonsensical shit like that. Also, you're going to hit the guy with superhuman strength with a severed arm? Ugh.
The Downright Horrendous- The way this movie was handled by Lionsgate was horrendous; Why they would bury a good movie like this, yet release a hunk of crap like Disaster Movie just shows how much they suck. This movie will live in horror infamy as the one that Lionsgate tried to tank.
The Gory- This movie is bloody from start to finish. Stabbings, eye gouging, teeth pulling, multiple meat tenderizer/hammer bashing's, severed limbs, people crawling through pools of blood... fans of the crimson goodness will not be disappointed.
The Naked- We get a little bit of skin, but only on the victims.
Best Line- "Stand away from the meat." or "Welcome."
What did we learn?- Subways are scary. Also, cities have creepy secrets that it's best not to poke your nose into.
Rating- B+ I recommend that you read the short story; it will give you a different take on things if you will, and will make the movie better. I like this movie, and everyone needs to check out Fearnet on demand or Fearnet.com and see it. Good Stuff.
Final Thoughts- Clive Barker is the man, and more good movies need to be made from his short stories.
