Sweeping up, Part 5 of 6


We've seen a ton of movies in 2011, reviewed a bunch of them, and yet we still have so many that we never talked about. There's plenty of reasons as to why we don't review certain movies; sometimes we're lazy, sometimes we don't have much to say that tons of other sites haven't said already, and sometimes we just get tired of sounding negative.

So with 2012 rapidly approaching, we're going to take a quick look at some of the movies of 2011 that we've ignored.

These are going to be quick and fairly to the point, although in all fairness, our points may suck. Then again, our points seldom suck.

The Roommate- Why do movies like this even get made? Sure, we get that Hollywood desperately needs money, and that the easiest way to rake a bunch of it in is to make some half-assed garbage like this that's aimed at teen audiences, but come on.

A hot, naive freshman arrives at school straight off the bus from Iowa (or Idaho or some shit), and is immediately drawn in to and bewildered by the LA party scene. She meets the sexy sweet guy played by Cam Gigandet (who has a knack lately for being in every shitty movie made), and her creepy roommate who is equally as hot.

Of course, creepy roomie girl begins to attack and kill everyone around her new Idaho bestie, because it's worked in other movies before, so why not do the same thing here?

The TV show Pretty Little Liars has more suspense in its opening credits than can be found in this entire movie.

The Master Says- DO NOT WANT If you're looking for a shitty re-telling of the 1992 thriller Single White Female, look no further, because that's exactly what this "movie" is. Mostly bloodless, insipidly plotted and acted, this isn't even good on a funny level. You know a movie's bad when not even the combined hotness of Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly can save it. Hell, forget save, they couldn't even help this movie out a little bit.

Texas Killing Fields- Here's a movie with a great cast, a great based on true events story, and some pretty good film making involved. It wasn't as great overall as we had hoped it would be, but it's still a solidly entertaining flick.

Loosely based on true events, the movie follows the story of a serial killer murdering young whores and dumping their bodies in a local wetlands, called The Killing Fields.

Two detectives are hot on the trail of the killer, and a young local girl might just be their next target....

Ok, the plot sounds all too familiar, but it's a good story. The saving grace of this flick is the performances by its leads; Sam Worthington was actually decent in this one, and not all that wooden like he normally is. The always awesome Jeffrey Dean Morgan was his usual awesome self. It's Chloe Moretz though, that steals the show here. The kid's got chops, and she keeps getting better and better with every role.

The Master Says- B If you like cop movies involving serial killers (which we love), then this movie will tickle your creepy bone. Chole Moretz is a superstar growing up before our eyes, and she loves being in cool genre flicks, which is nothing but good news for us. This is a decent, under the radar flick that is definitely worthy of a spin in your DVD player.

Dylan Dog- This movie made me want to punch somebody in the face. It could be just a matter of taste or preference, but I'd rather like to think that it's a matter of it sucked, and I don't like sucky movies. Who knows.

First of all, Brandon Routh kinda sucks. He nearly killed the Superman franchise, and often times seems like he's imitating a piece of wood on screen. He's not Channing Tatum bad, but he's close enough.

Second, it just didn't work as a horror comedy. All of the flair or emotion the story may have had in the comic series it's based on was all but absent in the film version. Mainly because Brandon Routh can't emote.

I dont know, maybe I am personally just to cynical for this movie, which is a shame. I like tongue in cheek comedy with my horror from time to time; I'll go to my grave thinking Black Sheep is one of the best things I've ever seen. Too bad this movie doesn't make me feel the same way.

The Master Says- D If you want to see a great movie like this, and one that this movie should have been far more like, check out Cemetery Man. That's how you do offbeat, sad and humorous inside the confines of the horror genre. The story, dialogue, acting and action here just don't work as well. I know some of you will like this flick, but that's your problem, isn't it?


The 6th and final part of this mini recap is nigh, and then we talk about the best and worst of 2011.

Try to contain your excitement.
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