PANDORUM
Sub-Genre- Creature/Space Hi-jinks
Cast Members of Note- Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster, Cam Gigandet, Cung Le, Norman Reedus, and the sexy/sassy Antje Traue.
What's it About?- Two spacemen (aliens for all we know) are woken up early from their deep space sleep, to find that their ship is dark and deserted, and that they have the shakes which in space are called Pandorum. I thought this movie was supposed to be about Pandorum's Box, but I was instead surprised to find that it was about deep space and nervous conditions.
One of the space guys, Bower, decides to crawl through a dark and cramped ventilation shaft (which is always a good idea) in an effort to unlock the door they're trapped behind from the other side, but he never quite gets the job done. Why, you might ask? Because of... Pandorum! Just kidding. It's really because he discovers that the ship is now populated with insanely strong and agile creatures that want to eat him, and anyone else that isn't one of them. Along the way he meets a Tahitian Ninja, a hot ninja-like German chick, and a black dude that doesn't trust white people. Who can blame him though? I'm white and I rarely, if ever, trust myself. True story.
The other space guy, Dennis Quaid, stays behind in the locked room and tries to navigate Bower to wherever he needs to go, but he fails too because he finds some crazy guy that want's them to launch themselves into space because he's claustrophobic. I'm not kidding on that one. Launch himself into space. I may be wrong, but floating endlessly through space in an escape tube seems claustrophobic to me too...
So, Dennis Quaid and Bower both have their hands full, and it doesn't look like either of them are going to be around long. Will Bower and his band or ragtag misfits get to the power core and save the ship in time? Will Dennis Quaid launch himself into space on the whim of a madman? Will any of them survive... Pandorum?!? Yes, no , and maybe. Also, the ending threw me for a loop, although it was a pretty cool one.
The Good- I don't know why, but aspects of this movie reminded me of Ghosts of Mars a little bit, which I also loved. That's fairly misleading, as the two movies aren't very similar at all, but the creatures and the way the acted just brought it to mind... though if anything the movie resembles Event Horizon or Pitch Black more closely.
Pandorum is a dark, interesting little space monster flick, that didn't make me roll my eyes once, even when the ending threw us a pretty big twist like it did. It just worked. Bloody, action packed and tense, not to mention gorgeous on Blu-ray. I also have a weakness for movies where people are aboard space ships traveling somewhere when something goes horribly wrong, and especially those of a horror variety.
I also have a weak spot for Dennis Quaid, who usually stars in some lackluster movies, but whom I like anyway. Here, he does his job admirably along with his cast mates, most noticeably Ben Foster, and I actually liked all of their characters. That's a rarity for me.
The Bad- The ending made me a bit mad, because it looks like they have more story to tell, and I don't think it will happen since Pandorum underperformed at the box office. It was one of those "Oh cool... but... that's it? I wanna know more!" Types of endings, and it will always frustrate me unless we get a sequel someday. Good stuff though.
The Downright Horrendous- I personally find it horrendous that this movie came out last August, and I just now saw it on Blu-ray, months after the fact. I don't know why I put it off so long, and I'm sorry I did. I mean, had I seen it when it first hit theaters, I could have had this creepy little fucker haunting my dreams every night since:
The Gory- There was a fair amount of blood and gore, and even some slime. Yes, slime. There was even a pretty good karate fight between a ninja and a space monster, which of course ended bloody.
The Naked- Nope. We are on a "no nudity" streak as of late with the movies we've been seeing, and it's starting to suck. Pretty soon I'm going to watch some porn and pretend it was a horror movie, and just write a fake review... OR maybe you could give us some boobs, horror movies!
Best Line- "Maybe this is a bad time to tell you, but the door is open. "
What did we learn?- Dennis Quaid is a little wonky. Always has been. Also, Germany turns out some pretty hot chicks.
The Master Says- B+ (7.5/10) If you like movies like Event Horizon, Alien(s), Pitch Black, or anything starring Dennis Quaid, you'll most likely dig Pandorum. We here at THC are suckers for the whole Sci-fi horror thing, and we pretty much unanimously gave this a big thumbs up. If you haven't already seen it, you should do so when you get the chance. Don't be lame like me and wait for 7 months to check it out, because you deserve a good movie right now!Final Thoughts- Who is this Friederike Kempter that stole my heart, though she was in very little of the movie?
