Top 10 Films of 2010 According to the African American Film Critics Association

I don't have a large degree of trust in the ability of the annual Academy Awards to comment on the image of African Americans in film.  After all, they only seem to recognize African American actors when they are in roles like slave-era mammies, modern-day mammies, corrupt cops or servants with driver's licenses.

As such, I'm please to share the feedback by the African American media professionals around the nation who are part of the African American Film Critics Association (AAFCA). The organization honors excellence in cinema by creating awareness for films with universal appeal to Black communities, while emphasizing film about the Black experience and those produced, written, directed and starring performers of African descent. The association actively reviews the quality and standard of Black talent, content and media coverage.

The AAFCA List of Honorees: 

• Best Feature Film:               “The Social Network” directed by David Fincher
• Best Documentary:              “Waiting for Superman” directed by Davis Guggenheim
• Best Actress:                         Halle Berry, “Frankie and Alice” 
• Best Actor:                             Mark Wahlberg, “The Fighter” 
• Best Supporting Actress:    Kimberly Elise, “For Colored Girls” 
• Best Supporting Actor:        Michael Ealy, “For Colored Girls” 
• Best Director:                        Christopher Nolan, “Inception” 
• Best Screenplay:                  “Night Catches Us” by Tanya Hamilton
• Best Song:                            “Four Women” composed by N. Simone, “For Colored Girls”
• Special Achievement:         Lena Horne, Roger Ebert and Melvin Van Peebles. 

AAFCA Lists Top Ten Films of 2010:

1.            The Social Network

2.            The King’s Speech

3.            Inception

4.            Black Swan

5.            Night Catches Us

6.            The Fighter

7.            Frankie And Alice

8.            Blood Done Sign My Name

9.            Get Low

10.         For Colored Girls

I have to admit that I don't go to out to see movies at the theaters very much. As such, I haven't seen many of the movies being recognized this year by AAFCA. However, I am heading over to my Netflix queue to add these movies. I'll be seeing 'em soon!

What do you think about the choices made by AAFCA for best movies, actors and such?

Succes 2010: Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider prin Transilvania

Ultimul si poate cel mai interesant - prin felul in care l-am obtinut! - autograf primit in acest an, personalizat, este cel al superstarului Nicolas Cage, aflat in Romania pentru a filma partea a doua a filmului Ghost Rider. Am asteptat aproape trei luni, dar a meritat!

Succes 2010: Richard Sims, unul dintre detectivii care l-au pazit pe asasinul lui JFK, Lee Harvey Oswald

Detectives Richard M. Sims and Elmer "Sonny" Boyd spent more time than anyone else with Oswald in the days after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Mr. Sims and Mr. Boyd, who had been professionally paired since 1957, were assigned by their boss, Will Fritz, captain of the homicide and robbery division, to escort Oswald after his capture in the shootings of the president and of Dallas police Officer J.D. Tippit.

Succes 2010: Ahmad Jamal, jazz living legend

Ahmad Jamal is an American jazz pianist, composer, arranger, teacher, and jazz theoretician. According to Stanley Crouch, Jamal is second in importance in the development of jazz after 1945 only to Charlie Parker. For five decades, he has been one of the most successful small-group leaders in jazz.
Since the 1980s Jamal has been regularly touring the major clubs of the United States and the large European jazz festivals. He is generally accompanied by bassist James Cammack and drummer Idris Muhammad. He has also performed regularly with saxophonist George Coleman.

Ahmad Jamal is an acclaimed virtuoso jazz pianist and keyboardist, composer, and innovative trio leader. He was born Freddy "Fritz" Jones, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Jamal attended George Westinghouse High School. He began playing piano at the age of three, when his uncle Lawrence challenged him to duplicate what he was playing on the piano.[3] Jamal began formal piano training at the age of seven with Mary Cardwell Dawson, whom he describes as greatly influencing him. He converted to Ahmadiyya Islam in 1952, officially changing his name at that time. On joining Musicians Union Local 208 in Chicago, he was referred to as Fritz Jones in the minutes of the local's Board meetings until his name change. His first OKeh record was credited in advertisements to the Fritz Jones Trio, but it did not see release until after the name change, so the name Ahmad Jamal appears on all of his released recordings. He is a member of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community.
Jamal began touring with George Hudson's Orchestra. He joined another touring group known as The Four Strings, which was soon disbanded. He moved to Chicago in 1950, and made his first sides in 1951 for the Okeh label with The Three Strings; the other members were guitarist Ray Crawford and a bassist (at different times, Eddie Calhoun, Richard Davis, and Israel Crosby). Jamal subsequently recorded for Parrot (1953–1955) and Epic (1955) using the piano-guitar-bass lineup. The trio's sound changed significantly when Crawford was replaced with drummer Vernel Fournier in 1957, and the group worked as the "House Trio" at Chicago's Pershing Hotel. The trio released the live album But Not for Me which stayed on the Ten Best-selling charts for 108 weeks. Jamal's well known song "Poinciana" was first released on this album. The financial success of the album allowed Jamal to open a restaurant and club called The Alhambra.
Jamal typically plays with a bassist and drummer; his current trio is with bassist James Cammack and drummer Idris Muhammad. At the Toronto Jazz Festival (June 2008) and perhaps elsewhere, Jamal's group included innovative percussionist Manolo Badrena. Jamal has also recorded with saxophonist George Coleman on the album The Essence; with vibraphonist Gary Burton on the recording "In Concert"; with the voices of the Howard A. Roberts Chorale on the recordings "Bright, Blue and Beautiful" and "Cry Young"; with brass, reeds, and strings celebrating his hometown of "Pittsburgh"; and with "The Assai Quartet", among other non-trio achievements.

Miles Davis, Randy Weston, Keith Jarrett, Jack DeJohnette, and Gary Peacock all cite Jamal as a major influence in use of rhythm and space as well as his innovative use of multi-tonal melodic lines and his unique extended 'vamps'. The element of surprise is an important part of Jamal's improvisations to them all. John Coltrane must have also been influenced by Jamal. His composition "Impressions", bears a striking resemblance to a small section of the song "Pavanne" which Ahmad Jamal recorded in 1955 with Israel Crosby and guitarist Ray Crawford. Halfway through the song there is a vamp on the same harmonic progression as "So What" (by Miles Davis) and "Impressions" (John Coltrane). During this vamp Ray Crawford improvises a line which is practically identical to the melody of "Impressions", including the harmonic shift.
At the Pershing: But Not for Me (1958) is considered a jazz classic. The Ahmad Jamal trio played on it and featured Jamal on piano, Israel Crosby on bass, and Vernel Fournier on drums.
Jamal's style has changed steadily over time - from the lighter, breezy style heard on his 1950s recordings to the Caribbean stylings of the 1970s and onto the large open voicings and bravura-laden playing of the nineties. Jamal has always been distinctive however for his use of space, his dramatic crescendos, and for a very staccato orientation with chords.
Clint Eastwood featured two recordings from Jamal's But Not For Me album — "Music, Music, Music" and "Poinciana" — in the 1995 movie The Bridges of Madison County.
The French government has inducted Ahmad Jamal into the prestigious Order of the Arts and Letters by French Culture Minister Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres, naming him Officier de l'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres on June 2007. At age 80, Mr Jamal still continues to tour extensively with his trio.
In 1994, Jamal received the National Endowment for the Arts American Jazz Masters award and was also named a Duke Ellington Fellow at Yale University.

Gov. Haley Barbour Tries to Assuage His White Guilt by Releasing the Scott Sisters from Mississippi Prison

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour is finally doing the right thing ... albeit for the wrong reasons. Barbour agreed to free two sisters who served 16 years of a double life sentence for an armed robbery in which nobody was hurt and $11 was stolen.  Jamie and Gladys Scott should never have been sent to jail in the first place.

Here is the statement from Gov. Barbour:

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"Today, I have issued two orders indefinitely suspending the sentences of Jamie and Gladys Scott. In 1994, a Scott County jury convicted the sisters of armed robbery and imposed two life sentences for the crime. Their convictions and their sentences were affirmed by the Mississippi Court of Appeals in 1996.

"To date, the sisters have served 16 years of their sentences and are eligible for parole in 2014. Jamie Scott requires regular dialysis, and her sister has offered to donate one of her kidneys to her. The Mississippi Department of Corrections believes the sisters no longer pose a threat to society. Their incarceration is no longer necessary for public safety or rehabilitation, and Jamie Scott's medical condition creates a substantial cost to the State of Mississippi.

"The Mississippi Parole Board reviewed the sisters' request for a pardon and recommended that I neither pardon them, nor commute their sentence. At my request, the Parole Board subsequently reviewed whether the sisters should be granted an indefinite suspension of sentence, which is tantamount to parole, and have concurred with my decision to suspend their sentences indefinitely.

"Gladys Scott's release is conditioned on her donating one of her kidneys to her sister, a procedure which should be scheduled with urgency. The release date for Jamie and Gladys Scott is a matter for the Department of Corrections.

"I would like to thank Representative George Flaggs, Senator John Horne, Senator Willie Simmons, and Representative Credell Calhoun for their leadership on this issue. These legislators, along with former Mayor Charles Evers, have been in regular contact with me and my staff while the sisters' petition has been under review."

---

Of course it made too much sense for Barbour to simply commute their sentence without the ludicrous and unconstitutional condition that one sister (Gladys) donate a kidney to her sister, who requires dialysis at least three times per day.

Villagers are reminded that the Scott sisters were convicted of robbing at gunpoint two men driving them to a nightclub in Forest, north Mississippi, in 1993. They had no prior criminal record. Each was sentenced to two life terms.

They have served 16 years for a conviction that never would have occurred if they were white. Being Black and poor in Mississippi means that the judicial system can truly phuque with you ... as the Scott sister learned.

Gov. Barbour is taking big-time heat for his racist recollections of his childhood in KKK-dominated southern hometown. I figure that he realized he couldn't afford to continue to ignore the growing protests about the unjust and inhumane imprisonment of these two Black women. Barbour saw a chance to end the protest and get the Scott sisters the heck out of Mississippi (...they plan to move in with their mother who lives in Florida). So, in my mind, Barbour is making this move for his own political reasons ... he is a candidate for the GOP presidential nomination in 2012 ... and not because he believes it is the right thing to do in his heart.


However, a good deed ... even if done for wrong reasons ... is still a good deed. This blog is glad to see Barbour taking these steps. We understand it may take up to 45 days for the sisters to be physically released from the prison. Our hope is that Barbour will get that done sooner rather than later.

RIP Bobby Farrell (Boney M)

Roberto "Bobby" Farrell, celebrul membru fondator al trupei disco Boney M, a fost găsit mort, astazi, într-o cameră de hotel din Sankt Petersburg. In noaptea trecuta, Farrell avusese un concert cu trupa sa. In luna martie a acestui an am primit de la fanclubul sau o fotografie semnata de celebrul muzician.

If Salman's upset, it's my fault, says Shah Rukh

Wordless Wednesday: Wayne Hicks. Senior and Junior.

Ujamaa: Top Ten Reasons to BUY BLACK

Originally posted: 11/29/2007

Drumbeats from Black In Business that gives ten reasons for us to support Black Business during this holiday season. Shop Black on Black Friday ... and beyond!

One of the principles of Kwanzaa that resonates with me strongly is Ujamaa ... cooperative economics. It is in our interests to spend our money with Black businesses that support and respect us and our interests. Here are the Top 10 Reasons to Buy Black:

1. We invest in ourselves, our communities and our future.
2. We participate in a Black self-love fest by putting our financial resources where our mouth/interest is.
3. There is a higher likelihood of finding culturally specific products for our unique needs.
4. Our dollars will stay within our community for a longer period of time when the Black business also employs Black folks, buys products from Black distributors and Black wholesalers.
5. We will have a greater chance of influencing the decisions makers where we shop.
6. We will receive respectful customer service and high quality products.
7. We contribute to the building of business institutions that can be handed to the next generation.
8. We contribute to becoming an independent group/nation able to sustain ourselves.
9. We become a force to be reckoned with and able to affect change.
10. The next generation sees a community who respects and supports itself and self esteem is increased.

In fact, we would like to use this post to identify online Black businesses. In other words, where are the Black businesses that are using the Internet to see products or services that might benefit us during this holiday season? Share your village voice and we will keep this post updated with new entries. Doable?

Here is list of Black-owned businesses that Villagers recommend for your consideration:

1. Afri-Ware Inc. - Oak Park, IL (708) 524-8398
2. AfroSpear Freedom Technology Christmas
3. ATM Typing (Clerical Services)
4. Auto Parts For Less (Auto Supplies)
5. Frontier National Products Co-Op - Norway, IA (800) 669-3275
6. National Black Business Trade Assn - (641) 953-0492
7. Preciss Data (Data Processing)
8. Sportacular Players (Sports Apparel & Equipment)

What do you think about the top ten reasons? What do you think about the concept of 'Buy Black'?

And Soon the Darkness (2010)

"And soon, the boredom..."

This is the kind of movie that really bums me out to have to dislike. As a fan of Amber Heard and Karl Urban, it sucks that I have to diss their work here, especially since this movie marks Amber Heard's first gig as a producer. After seeing this lame fest, it might just be her last.

The story is more than familiar, full of the usual cliche's and pitfalls, and horrible plot devices are really all that drives it forward.

Stay with me here...

Two super hot American hot chicks who are hot, go biking through the isolated Argentinian countryside in search of... who knows. They separate from their briefly mentioned "bike tour" for god knows what reason, and rent a room in some small town, for again, some unapparent reason.

One of them is a smart, responsible girl, and the other is a loud mouthed slut. The slut (the poor man's Megan Fox, Odette Yustman) says and does some wild things, insults the locals, and shows poor manners, inviting trouble. The chaste good girl (Amber Heard) tries to keep her wild friend under control, but fails.

After a drunken night of danger and debauchery, they miss their early morning bus (to where, we're not certain, since their on bikes), and decide to go sunbathe in the deep, isolated countryside somewhere. Makes sense. Long story short, the two separate, the slut goes missing, and the good girl runs around acting foolish in an effort to find her.

From this point on, the movie is just about flimsy characters making poor decision after poor decision, and battling a bunch of cliche's along the way; shady locals, shady policia, evil gringo hating latino's, the "is he good or bad" red herring guy... It's like Turista's, but not good. Or even The Ruins, but bland and pointless.

One of the things that always drives me insane in these types of movies, are the moronic characters that always seem to do the most moronic things, and at every turn; Screaming when they should shut up, antagonizing creepy locals, leaving friends alone in the rapey forest of a foreign country, making no effort to think things through and be smart about their actions... all plot devices, and all frustrating. How can you pull for characters like that?

Karl Urban comes off as gimpy in this movie, which is a shame because the guy has played some great roles in some great movies. Amber Heard is hell and gone from her awesome work in All the Boys Love Mandy Lane here as well, which is odd to me, because she tends to pick challenging roles that at least take chances. And Odette Yustman... well her best work is still in The Unborn. Yeah.

For me, this movie is a D, because it's just so frustratingly cliche and pointless. That's not to say it sucks horribly, or that other won't like it, but honestly it's just totally unremarkable. Even though I just remarked a bunch about it, but you know, whatever.

It's a nice looking movie, but the substance just isn't there.

At least we do get to see this...

Buried (2010)

"The idea of being buried alive now scares me as much as jumping from a plane does..."

BURIED
Sub-Genre- Buried Alive

Cast Members of Note- Ryan Reynolds is the only person in the film, though Samantha Mathis and a few others do lend voice support.

What's it About?- All there is to say about the plot of this movie is that Ryan Reynold sis a truck driver in Iraq, and he wakes up to find himself buried in a coffin-like box somewhere, that he assumes is the desert. Alone in the box with only a lighter and cell phone, the entire movie is spent with him making calls to various people to somehow get himself some help.

As the movie progresses, and the plot unravels, it looks increasingly like he's screwed.

To say anymore would be giving too much away, and with such a limited array of things a tightly plotted film like this has to work with, it's best to leave the details to your eyes for watching.

"Hey hun, it's Scarlett... I want a divorce."
The Good- "A guy trapped in a box for 90 minutes" sounds like a tough sell for a movie these days, but then again so did "A girl and her autistic brother trapped in a house during a hurricane with a hungry tiger." I'm happy to say that as with Burning Bright, Buried worked extremely well in its limited confines.

This one man-in-a-box show had me tensed up and anxious without ever realizing that I was. At first I thought it to be decent and clever, but as the movie wore on it gripped me hard, as I caught myself about 30 minutes in tensed like I was ready to jump out of my seat and throw a karate kick into the air. You might not believe that such a simple premise can be so effective, but trust me, it is.

Ryan Reynolds does a great job with limited movement or other characters to interact with. It didn't take long for me to forget he was the funny actor, and believe that he was a hopelessly trapped regular guy, desperate to find someone to come help him. This is how you do suspense.

Method-acting goodness.
The Bad- The end. I will say no more.

The Downright Horrendous- **SPOILER ALERT** (Skip this part if you don't want a pretty big plot point ruined for you...) I know this movie made some statements about a few different issues, but the biggest of them all was the way that big business throws the little man to the wolves. So a truck driver is ambushed, kidnapped, buried alive and held for "ransom" somewhere in Iraq, and the head of personnel for his company fires him while buried alive, to avoid culpability and paying out any type of damages or insurance to his family? Infuriating. There was no "We will get you out of this" or "We will take care of your family, don't worry", only "we're going to make up an excuse to fire you, because we can't be libel for this shit." Wow. A strong message, and sadly, a very true one.

The Gory- Ryan Reynolds cuts off a digit, but that's about it.

The Naked- Nay.

Best Line- "Okay, fuck you."

What did we learn?- Don't drive trucks in Iraq. Also, your boss most likely hates you.

The Master Says- A If you want to tense up for about 90 minutes and feel true, hopeless despair, then Buried is the movie for you. I have to say that if you're claustrophobic, even mildly, this movie will probably send you into a panic attack; I'm not so bad with tight spaces, and I found myself a ball of nerves for nearly the entire running time. Ryan Reynolds in a box for 90 minutes seems like a lame concept, but he and the filmmakers deliver the goods. See this one asap. If you're so inclined that is.

Final Thoughts- How did that dog get in the coffin!?!

Good News Tuesday: Yvette McGee Brown, Ohio Supreme Court Justice

Soulclap to the ABA Journal for sharing information about Yvette McGee Brown. Born to a teenage single mother in Ohio who worked two jobs to provide for the family, Judge McGee Brown has soared far above what might have been predicted for her based on where she started in life.

McGee Brown earned her law degree at Ohio State University in 1985 at the same time her mother was earning her college degree. She then went on to become a high-ranking state government lawyer and law firm partner. Then she was the first Black woman to be elected a Franklin County Court of Common Pleas judge.


Now, at age 50, she is about to be appointed by Gov. Ted Strickland to a seat on the Ohio Supreme Court, where she will be the first Black woman ever to serve on that bench. However, her planned elevation, which the outgoing governor announced last week will be one of his last acts before leaving office in January, will create an unusual 4-3 female majority on the court.

She replaces another judge who was elected chief justice of the state supreme court in November.

In announcing the appointment, Strickland said McGee Brown "throughout her life, from a humble upbringing to a distinguished career serving others ... has embodied the highest levels of personal integrity and an exceptional intellectual capacity. Her diversity of experience, work as a former judge, and advocacy for the welfare of Ohio families will add a unique perspective and balanced decision-making to Ohio's Supreme Court."

McGee Brown served on the juvenile court bench in Franklin County for a decade before unsuccessfully seeking election as lieutenant governor, as Strickland's running-mate, last month.

McGee Brown is a lifelong resident of Columbus, married to a retired special education teacher and the mother of three children.

It still amazes me that there are 'firsts' for African American woman ... but, it appears that we are still keeping our eyes on the prize in the 21st century!

Succes 2010: Ramsey Lewis, jazz living legend

Ramsey Emmanuel Lewis, Jr. is an American jazz composer, pianist and radio personality. Ramsey Lewis has recorded over 80 albums and has received five gold records and three Grammy Awards so far in his career.

Ramsey Lewis was born in Chicago, Illinois, to Ramsey Lewis, Sr. and Pauline Lewis. Lewis began taking piano lessons at the age of four. At 15 he joined his first jazz band, The Cleffs. The seven-piece group provided Lewis his first involvement with jazz; he would later join Cleffs drummer Isaac "Redd" Holt and bassist Eldee Young to form the Ramsey Lewis Trio.
The trio started as primarily a jazz unit and released their first album, Ramsey Lewis And The Gentlemen of Swing, in 1956. Following their 1965 hit "The In Crowd" (the single reached #5 on the pop charts, and the album #2) they concentrated more on pop material. Young and Holt left in 1966 to form the Young-Holt Trio and were replaced by Cleveland Eaton and Maurice White. White was replaced by Maurice Jennings in 1970. Later, Frankie Donaldson and Bill Dickens replaced Jennings and Eaton; Felton Crews also appeared on many 1980's releases.
By 1966, Lewis was one of the nation’s most successful jazz pianists, topping the charts with "The In Crowd", "Hang On Sloopy", and "Wade in the Water". All three singles each sold over one million copies, and were awarded gold discs. Many of his recordings attracted a large non-jazz audience. In the 1970s, Lewis often played electric piano, although by later in the decade he was sticking to acoustic and using an additional keyboardist in his groups.
In addition to recording and performing, Lewis hosted a morning show on Chicago "smooth jazz" radio station WNUA (95.5 FM) until May 22, 2009. His weekly syndicated radio program Legends of Jazz, created in 1990, features recordings from artists such as David Sanborn, George Duke, Herbie Hancock, Charlie Parker, Dizzy Gillespie, Kurt Elling, Al Jarreau and Miles Davis. The show can be heard in 60 U.S. cities and overseas. In 1994, Lewis appeared on the Red Hot Organization's compilation album, Stolen Moments: Red Hot + Cool, alongside other prominent jazz artists, Herbie Hancock and Roy Ayers. The album, meant to raise awareness and funds in support of the AIDS epidemic in relation to the African American community, was heralded as "Album of the Year" by Time Magazine.
On December 4, 2006, the Ramsey Lewis Morning Show became part of Broadcast Architecture's Smooth Jazz Network, simulcasting on other Smooth Jazz stations across the country for the first time. However, the show was still based in Chicago until it was cancelled when WNUA switched over to a Spanish format.
In 2006, a well-received 13-episode Legends of Jazz television series hosted by Lewis was broadcast on public TV nationwide and featured live performances by a variety of jazz artists including Larry Gray, Lonnie Smith, Joey Defrancesco, Dave Brubeck, Chick Corea, Kurt Elling, Benny Golson, Pat Metheny and Tony Bennett.


Lewis is artistic director of Jazz at Ravinia (an annual feature at the Ravinia Festival in Highland Park, Illinois) and helped organize Ravinia's Jazz Mentor Program. Ramsey also serves on the Board of Trustees for the Merit School of Music, a Chicago inner-city music program and The Chicago High School for the Arts, the new public arts high school in Chicago. Early in 2005, the Ramsey Lewis Foundation was created to help connect at-risk children to the world of music. As an offshoot of that foundation, Lewis plans to form a Youth Choir and Youth Orchestra. In January 2007, the Dave Brubeck Institute invited Lewis to join its Honorary Board of Friends at the University of the Pacific in Stockton, California. Lewis is an Honorary Board member of the Chicago Jazz Orchestra. Lewis is a member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. In May 2008, Lewis received an honorary doctorate from Loyola University Chicago upon delivering the keynote address at the undergraduate commencement ceremony.

Dead Cert (2010)

"If you like your gangster movies a little vampy, then you're in luck..."
DEAD CERT
Sub-Genre- Vampires and Gangsters

Cast Members of Note- This movie is filled with a who's who of great British character actors; Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Danny Dyer, Steve Berkoff, Craig Fairbrass, Andrew Tiernan.

What's it About?- The story revolves around Freddy "Dead Cert" Frankham and his group of crimey's, who live their lives happily in a strip club, acting all tough, fighting, drinking, and speaking in dialects that not even other British folk can understand. It's what gangsters in England do, you know. Gangsters and football fans. The football fans are rougher. Sorry, gangsters.

"Are you taking the piss?"
When a mysterious group of other gangsters make Frankie an offer to buy his strip club, Inferno, he tells 'em to bugger off, and returns to gangstering. They're persistent though, and before long, Frankie ends up losing the club to them, via a not-at-all-fair pit fight. It's not fair a all, because unbeknownst to Frankie and his crew, the other gangsters are really... vampires!

And so are their whores!
When some crazy old Van Helsing-like guy shows up with a bunch of stakes and a crucifix's, Frankie says sod it all and decides that he's taking his club back. A bloodbath ensues. Also, betrayal ensues. Also, also, no tits in the strip club ensues. It's all insanity if you ask me.

"Lapdance?"
Can Dead Cert get his club back and rid his town of the shady vampire menace? Will the vampires make quick work of their gangster rivals, and run the strip club with full nudity? Did Guy Ritchie direct this movie? No, he didn't, but it really all feels the same to me.

This scene totally could have been from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels...
The Good- As British gangster flicks go, not bad. As vampire flicks go, not too bad either. It's not an instant genre classic or anything, but Dead Cert merges two fun genres and the end result is pretty enjoyable.

It's a pretty straightforward movie with no real twists or fresh bits to add to the vampire genre, but at least no one sparkled, right? I mean, not much is slicker than a good Brit gangster flick, or as bloody fun as a good vampire flick, so really, the two elements together just makes good sense. It's not the first, nor the best of the gangster/vampire genre -that honor still goes to 1992's Innocent Blood- but hell, it's a goody none the less.

She so cute.
The Bad- There needed to be a bit more vampire action in this movie. It's really more towards the gangster side of things in this one, and the vamp action doesn't really heat up until the third reel. It's a minor complaint, and maybe more is less, but had they made it a little bloodier early on, this movie could have been classically awesome instead of just good.

The Downright Horrendous- Gangster flicks often have nudity in them. Vampire flicks often have nudity in them. Movies involving strippers and strip clubs, almost always have nudity in them... so with the three combined, where were the boobs, filmmakers? You, good sirs, have wasted the nudity potential of one Ms. Loretta Basey. Live with that one on your collective conscience!

The Gory- It's a vampire flick, so you know the blood is flowing freely in this one. Throw in plenty of bullets on top of the neck biting and staking, and yes, it's all a bit extra wet and red.

The Naked- For a movie that takes place primarily in a strip club, I'm astounded that we get no nudity whatsoever. We get plenty of hot, scantily clad women, but nary so much as one boob. Boob. That's a funny word.

Best Line- "Who's the fuckin' guvnah now!" Lulz.

Um... She is.
What did we learn?- Even gangsters and vampires are polite in England. Also, Craig Fairbrass reminds me a lot of Ray Stevenson. That's not a bad thing.

The Master Says- C+ Dead Cert is a fun Gangster/Vampire hybrid that does enough right to make the watching enjoyable. If you like your average British Gangster flick, hot chicks, vampires, and Cockney accents, then this is the movie for you. Also, if you like seeing maybe the hottest woman on the planet (Loretta Basey), then this movie is definitely for you. Leave me be, I have a thing for curvy British girls. Anywho, check it out if you want a decent way to waste a few hours.

Final Thoughts- This movie has given us one of the hottest girls ever seen by human eyes, Loretta Basey, and we need to take a closer look at her...

More of Loretta Basey...

Because penis's all around the world demanded it, we have no choice but to post more pictures of this sassy British Bird. Plus, good luck finding many pictures of her online. Google her name... it's like a 3 picture tease, unless you dig.

So maybe this is more like a public service on our part...